


Drrrty Pop

by sunspot (unavoidedcrisis)



Category: Leverage
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Female Character, Polyamory, Rock Stars, juice as an important metaphor for love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 03:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidedcrisis/pseuds/sunspot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the eve of her first international tour, worldwide pop superstar Parker, is plagued by fear, doubt, and regret over the choices she's made. Her pre-fame best friend (Eliot) has suddenly reappeared in her life, the new DJ (Alec) is a touch too familiar for comfort, and maybe Parker's libido is out of control.</p><p>They're all in for a very interesting tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thundersnow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for polybigbang 2011. Many thanks to my last minute betas, valtyr and cantarina. This story has been such a long time coming and I'm glad it's done, but more importantly, I'm glad I got to write it. Thank you to everyone who helped me with this and everyone who listened to me complain about it :D ilu, Chat, and ilu, whole entire internet.
> 
> And very of course, waterofthemoon. You are amazing and talented and I am so, so thankful for you. [Here is the accompanying art post](http://waterofthemoon.livejournal.com/574450.html).

Twenty-two months ago, when Parker was just a regular girl, things were a lot more simple. She was still a girl now, of course (though there were tabloids out there that were convinced otherwise), but now she was also the number one selling, chart topping, most talked about pop star of the decade. That complicated things considerably.

It started with a stranger in a bar. She met a man who said he could make her a star and she'd signed all the paperwork he put in front of her right then.

Now, twenty-two months later, Parker secretly thought of that night as her deal with devil. The cute, overall fairly well-meaning devil, even if Nate had absolutely kept his word. Her third album was in the final stages of editing and was due to be released in the next two months.

"You know this calls for a world tour," Nate said one night not so long ago in Parker's hotel suite. "We should do a world tour."

Parker picked at the chicken parmesan that room service had sent up and sighed. "We just finished a tour."

"Just finished a US tour," Nate said, pointing to his laptop screen. "But look at these numbers."

She peeked around the edge of the screen and saw the jumble of numbers and columns. "I have no idea what I'm looking at."

"Your international numbers. Sales, chart numbers, regional hits on your website. That kind of thing." Nate seemed pretty pleased.

"So, these numbers are good?"

"They're great, actually."

Parker watched the screen, trying to make sense of all the figures, but it really only looked like the Sudoku puzzle from hell. "They really love me?"

"Everyone loves you," Nate confirmed. "So, let's go visit them."

And even though she'd never been out of the continental US, that was how Parker agreed to go on a seventeen week world tour.

\--

"We leave in three days," Nate said through the door. "Parker, now is not the time for a breakdown."

"I'm not having a breakdown, I just want some time to myself." Parker said, trying her best to sound soothing. "I'll be ready to go when our flight leaves for the tour, but until then, I am staying in this hotel room and no one is allowed in unless I specifically invite them."

She waited until she heard Nate sigh and walk away before she relaxed. She wanted a few days to herself, to sort out her thoughts, to work on a song that she'd been kicking around for the last few weeks.

Parker really liked Nate. Nate didn't get it, of course, but they got along well and he was awesome at all the business parts of it and left her free to do a lot of the more artistic things. That was the theory anyways. Lately, it had gotten a little muddled in the practice.

Parker pushed herself away from the door and decided to run a bath. With all the hustle and bustle of every single day of her life, she rarely got time for things like a bubble bath and sleeping in, so that's exactly what she had planned for the days before she left on tour. Nate might not like it, but he didn't have a key to her room.

The water was hot and Parker finally, _finally_ felt the months worth of tension starting to fade out of her muscles. She groaned and let her head rest on the tiles behind her. In a few minutes, she'd pour herself a glass of wine, but right now she was just going to sit.

There had been a big album launch party when her second album came out last summer. For a long time, Parker had felt awkward at the parties. They were her parties, technically, but they always felt like they were more for everyone else and she just had to go there and play a part. She always ended up getting jittery and nervous and having one too many drinks.

That was what Parker remembered while she sipped her wine in the bathtub that night -- the taste of good wine at an uncomfortable party. She much preferred it surrounded by bubbles. Bubbles didn't giggle behind their hands at her or stare at her with big, creepy eyes.

There was something on the edge of her mind, some parallel she was trying to draw between the bubbles and the kinds of people whom she routinely met at record release parties and in darkened VIP rooms. Something about slippery and clearly hollow. That's when Parker thought she should go to bed. She was just lonely. That was her biggest problem. Being famous and universally adored was lonely.

There was a knock on the door of the hotel suite. She had considered ordering from room service, but ultimately decided against it, and she'd made it abundantly clear to Nate she didn't want to be bothered until it was time to leave for the tour. She had a brief flash of panic and she cursed herself for sending her bodyguard away for the night under threats of death and mutilation. Parker wrapped herself in the robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door and hurried to the front door of the suite.

"Hello? Who is it? Nate, I said not to bother me," she said through the door, quietly sliding the chain over, just in case.

"Parker, open the door."

Parker heard her heart pounding in her ears, but not in an unpleasant way; she recognized that voice. Her fingers fumbled with the chain, trying to get the door open faster than her fingers would allow.

"Eliot!"

It was only some quick juggling on Eliot's part that allowed him to catch her when she jumped.

"Gah, dammit," he groaned, leaning on the wall. "Hi Parker, you wanna get off me?"

She shook her head, face burying in the crook of his neck. "Oh my god, oh my god."

"This is awkward," Eliot said. "Not that you're heavy or anything. Not that I drove for a hundred hours to get here and my back's all stiff or anything."

"Sorry," Parker said, letting him go and drawing back into the hotel room. "Come in."

Eliot followed her in, but paused just past the door and squinted in the low light. "Hey, are you crying?"

"I'm just... so fucking glad to see you." Parker said. She turned away from him not wanting him to see her cry on principle, even though he'd seen it before.

He dropped his duffle bag on the floor by the bathroom door and herded her towards the bed. "Come on, talk to me."

"You hate talking." Parker sniffled once and wiped her face on sleeve of the robe.

"I hate talking about me, but this is listening. And you love talking about you."

She glared and flopped back on the bed. "Do not."

"You do. Why else would you be famous unless you liked everyone in all your business?"

Parker sat up so fast she nearly flew off the bed. "Why would you --"

"Little one," Eliot said, calling her the nickname he'd had for her since she was in middle school. He held up his hands in surrender and let out a short laugh. "I was kidding, it was a joke."

When that didn't take the hurt look off her face, he sat on the bed next to her and put an arm around her shoulders gently. "You're really having a rough time of it, aren't you?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Parker rested her head on his shoulder again. She didn't want to talk about anything. She didn't even want to ask why he showed up at her doorstep in the middle of the night because what if it was an accident or something terrible had happened back home? She didn't want to talk about that tonight.

"You can go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning." Eliot didn't say goodbye or make any move to leave and before he could reassure her of anything else, she was asleep on his shoulder.

Morning came and Parker woke up with her face pressed into Eliot's hip. He was sitting up with his back straight against the headboard, reading a book. "'Morning."

"Good morning," she said with a voice hoarse from sleep. "Were you awake all night?"

"Sort of. Have you always snored so loud?"

Parker managed to give him a dirty look, which was a bit of a feat for that early in the morning. "I don't snore."

"All right, I stayed up all night after driving all day because I just love..." he flipped the book closed to look at the cover. "Danielle Steel."

"I hope you didn't lose my place," she said, sitting up and stretching. "It was just getting good."

"Well, I haven't got to any good parts yet, I don't think." Eliot set the book on the night stand. "So, how have you been? You missed the call this week."

There was one call a week, on Monday nights. One week Eliot would call Parker, the next week they would switch. It was one of the highlights of Parker's week every week, but she hadn't been able to call on Monday because Nate had some big dinner planned and she hadn't been able to slip out.

"I'm sorry," she said. Eliot smirked and Parker thought that meant she was forgiven. "And I'm okay. You know about the world tour, right?"

Eliot got out of bed and ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, you said. Excited for it? You leave tomorrow, right?"

Parker busied herself with opening the curtains and flicking through some papers on the coffee table before she answered. It wasn't that she was nervous or anything, she just didn't want to have to think about saying goodbye to her best friend so soon after him arriving. "Yeah. Tomorrow afternoon. Mexico City is the first show, but we've got a big kick-off party tomorrow night in New York before the tour officially starts."

"Well, that's cool. I've always wanted to go to New York."

Parker turned to gawk at him, just a little. "Are you... You're not coming?"

"Hey, you're stuck with me. Sold the bar last week and I don't have anything else." He said it very matter-of-factly, like it didn't bother him that he'd just sold the thing that he had worked for as long as Parker had known him.

"You sold it? Eliot, that's..."

"Don't. Don't cry again."

"I'm not going to cry," she said, smacking his knee. "But you're acting like it's not even a big deal. That bar was your life for how long. My life, too."

Twenty-two months ago, Parker was just another twenty-something girl with an acoustic guitar, playing covers of Top 40 songs at her best friend's bar every Wednesday night. It wasn't even like she had big dewy eyed dreams of stardom or anything, it was just a mutually beneficial arrangement. Parker made a few extra bucks in tips and got to drink for free and the bar got to advertise live music to draw in a few more patrons (even if it was only ever hecklers and douche hipsters shouting about Wilco and bands that were cooler before anyone had heard of them).

One Wednesday night, as luck would have it and as all the Cinderella stories go, there was someone in audience who heard something else in Parker's voice, something _special_. Later, some might agree that all he had heard was the sound of cash register ka-chinging and sliding open, but then again, some people are cynics.

"Hi there," the man said, with a voice as slick as his hair, right after Parker had climbed down from the rickety makeshift stage. "I'm Nate Ford. Can we talk over there?"

Parker agreed, because she was still riding the buzz from a great set and three free beers. The bar was her home, her hang out place, her concert hall, and her favourite place to see Eliot, all in one.

She remembered being away for the first six months, on the road, trying to make it big and finally coming home again for a visit. All Parker had wanted to do was jump over the polished oak bar and kiss him. She'd avoided that, luckily, but the feelings -- both for the bar and the boy -- had never fully gone away.

It was a good thing Parker was famous and got all the free drinks she wanted, because she was really going to miss that bar. But if Eliot didn't want her to make a huge deal out of it, she wouldn't.

"Nate is gonna be pissed that you just showed up," she said, instead of bringing up the bar again.

Eliot grinned. "Yeah, I considered that." Clearly he was seeing that as most of the fun.

Parker rolled her eyes. It had only been a few hours and everything was the same as it had always been between them. She found that more comforting than she could put words to. Now instead of spending the rest of her time before leaving on tour worrying, over-analyzing, and feeling sorry for herself, she could just relax and catch up with her friend.

Late that night, Parker took out her acoustic guitar and played _Thundersnow_ , one the songs off her new album, for Eliot. Besides Nate, Sophie and a couple guys at the recording studio, he was the first one to hear it and Parker was curious to hear what he thought.

The first few cords were tentative, because Eliot had always pushed her to excel with her music and a lot of her more recent stuff was different than her old stuff that he had always professed such a love for. Once she got into the song and got to the first verse, she just let it flow. Singing for an audience of one was a lot different than singing for her sold out crowds across the country. Parker felt a lot more connected, both to the song and to Eliot.

When she was done, she set the guitar pick down and looked eagerly towards him. Eliot nodded appreciatively. "It's good," he said leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes like he was deep in thought. "No, it's good."

"No?"

"Well, it's just... kind of trashy."

She snickered. " _Thundersnow_ is trashy? I didn't even play anything else for you yet. Pretty much the rest of them are worse." Parker rooted around in the bottom of her oversized purse and tossed Eliot a spiral notebook. "Flip to the back; that's the finalized track list for my upcoming album."

Eliot flipped open the book and stared at the song titles. "You're kidding. You're seriously kidding. _'Banging In The Backseat'_? Parker, this is just... Wait, you wrote a song called _'The Worst Bar I Know'_? That had better not be about --"

"It's not, don't worry."

"All right." He was quiet or a moment, rereading the list. "I like the songs you write on your own," Eliot said. He was trying to phrase it delicately, that was obviously, but Parker could see right through him.

"You think I'm a ridiculous sell-out," she said flatly. She knew he did -- a lot of people did -- but what she wasn't sure about was whether she wanted him to deny it or own up.

Instead of doing either, he gave her a level look and asked, "do you think you are?"

She gave him a little half-smile that she thought looked mysterious but in reality may have just been a little scary. "I'm awesome."

"You're goddamn right you are. And that doesn't even really matter. Are you happy? Besides the crying you did last night, which I'm going to say was because you were so happy to see me that you couldn't contain yourself. Do you like this life you have now?"

"...Yeah. It sucks sometimes, and I get lonely or whatever, but then I call you or have some guy buy me a party and I feel better. And I get to spend all my nights singing and dancing and wearing awesome dresses. And I'm rich. Like _rich-rich_."

Eliot snorted back a laugh. "And as tactful as ever. But that's my point. You're happy with your work, so fuck anyone who tells you that you should feel bad about selling out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, fuck 'em. I mean, maybe you should donate a little money to charity of something, just for karma's sake, but in general, fuck 'em."

Parker set her guitar aside and lunged across the coffee table to hug him, shifting the armchair he was in back a few inches across the floor.

"Yeah, I'm great," he laughed, patting her back easily. "Which is why you're going to be so lucky to have me on this tour."

\--

"You are absolutely not coming on this tour with us," Nate said bluntly, motioning for one of the burly security guys when Parker and Eliot showed up at airport the next afternoon.

"Nate --"

"No, Parker, this isn't a game, this is actually a serious thing."

"And so am I. He's coming."

"The budget doesn't allow for last minute staffing changes. Especially not when he doesn't actually do anything." Nate took off his sunglasses and fixed Parker with a hard stare. She didn't budge.

The airport security guy was edging closer, but wasn't outright approaching them yet. When Parker glanced around and saw the look on Eliot's face, she didn't blame the guy.

"Fine," Nate said finally. He clearly knew the dangers of arguing with Parker when she put her mind to something. "But I'm not happy."

"That's not important, dear," Sophie said, breezing by them all and heading for the gate. "Just so long as our little star is happy."

"That's what counts," Nate grumbled. He made a few quick tapping gestures on his phone and then glanced up to size Eliot up again. "Do you have a passport?"

Eliot handed it to him for inspection.

"Criminal record?"

Eliot shrugged. "Got wiped when I turned eighteen."

"What's your drug of choice that you're trying to get her hooked on? Pill popper? Speed freak?"

Parker just rolled her eyes. "Nate, I promise he's clean and that I'm not going to do drugs. Can we go? Big party in my honour about to start and I want to be there. You said open bar, right? And those little cheesy quiche things?"

"I called them yesterday and they promised they would have 'cheesy quiche things' for you." Nate's tone was halfway between exasperated and obliging. "Now let's get going."

Parker nearly danced down the gangway pulling Eliot along. "You're going to love the little cheesy quiche bites. They are practically the best thing about being famous."

He followed her, laughing the whole way. Once they were seated (in first class, no less), Parker started listing all the people who Eliot would have to know to be ready for the tour.

"And who's that?" Eliot asked, nodding the Sophie sitting next to Nate a few rows ahead. "Nate's wife?"

Parker chuckled. "Not even close. Sophie's my stylist."

Technically, Parker supposed, Nate's interfering with the creative aspect of their relationship had started with Sophie.

Now, Sophie was amazing and Parker really couldn't imagine a concert, tour, party, or red carpet without her. But Sophie was Nate's idea, Nate's hire, and Nate's friend even though she was directly tied into Parker's artistic expression.

Sophie was brought on originally because Parker needed a hairstylist, but it quickly turned out she was great at makeup too.

"You're sure you don't mind?" Parker asked for the tenth time.

"I told you, Parker, I'm happy to do it!" Sophie said, patting her shoulder and turning her around in the chair again. "But do you think we could do something... a little bigger?"

"Bigger how?" Parker thought her hair was plenty big. Sophie kept doing new things, things Parker never would have thought of on her own, but that was a good thing. She definitely had rockstar hair now whereas before she had only ever had Parker hair. Now Parker hair was synonymous with rockstar hair and sometimes that was the best accomplishment she could think of.

"Bigger with glitter," Sophie smiled.

Parker smiled too.

It had started with glitter and eyelash curlers, but soon it was feathers and more glitter and metallic everything and it only got bigger from there.

"Parker, I'd like to talk for a moment, if you can spare it," Sophie said with a solemn expression when they met for an early afternoon brainstorming. Parker was playing a show in Los Angeles that night to a sold-out crowd bigger than any she'd had before and Sophie's suddenly sombre demeanour was not helping her nerves at all.

"Oh god," Parker groaned. "Don't quit. I know I was a little nasty at the beginning, but that's just because I thought Nate thought I was useless, but now it's like you're the only one around here who really gets me."

Sophie grinned. "Oh, Parker, I wouldn't leave. You're too precious. I was going to ask if you would take a look at my notebook. I have a couple ideas for costumes and whatnot that I'd really like your input on."

"Costumes?" She perked up immediately; Parker liked costumes. She liked ones with lots of frills and sequins and she liked to make sure each one was more outrageous than the last. If Sophie had ideas, Parker was eager to hear them.

Sophie flipped open a sketch book and slid it across the table just as the hotel staff brought in breakfast. Parker loaded up a plate with wheat toast and bacon and thumbed through the pages.

"Sophie, these are... awesome." Parker reached for the peanut butter without taking her eyes off the colours on the page. "What's this, glass?"

"Yeah, that was my idea, but we can use something else. Pyrex, maybe. Or Lucite."

"It'll be heavy," Parker said doubtfully, but already the idea were pouring through her mind, invited by Sophie's excellent drawings.

Sophie nodded. "I know, that's why there's hardly any of it."

Parker finally tore her eyes off the page and look up at Sophie. "Oh... oh, that's good. That's really good." She grinned. "Can you keep coming up with stuff like this?"

Sophie nodded. "I'd like to, if you'll help. I like your style and I think we work well together."

"We do, we so do." Parker was grinning like a loon and threw an arm around Sophie.

The Lucite dress was the centerpiece of Parker's first-ever music video for her song _Pretty, Pretty Girls_ and it was the talk of the international water cooler for a couple weeks. A couple weeks was a long time in show biz.

Sophie made herself indispensable with that idea and had come up with about a million more awesome ideas since then. Including the dress she'd snagged from another one of her stylist friends for Parker to wear to the kick-off party that night.

"My dress for tonight is so awesome," Parker told Eliot. "Purple and sequins and classy, but so much fun. And we're putting feathers in my hair." She kicked up her feet and nudged him in the shoulder.

He chuckled. "Pretty excited, hmm?"

"I am. I'm excited you're coming too."

"So am I."

\--

The music was loud and thumping when they arrived at the party, and Parker recognized one of her songs instantly, it was the title track from her second album, _Pistachio Mustachio._ It was an upbeat album with what she thought was a good mix of meaningful and irreverent and the song that was playing definitely counted is one of the sillier ones in her collection. The photo shoot for the cover was another amazing Sophie and Parker collaboration with the most magnificent false moustache Parker had ever seen. She had kept it after the shoot and whenever she saw it, pinned to the lid of her traveling trunk with other photos and mementos -- her secret home away from home wherever she was -- she smiled.

Parker took a deep breath and tried to hang onto the funny fake moustache moment as she walked into the party with Eliot in tow. It turned out to actually be a nice party. She didn't know what she had been so worried about. Something just gave her a feeling that it would be a bad night, she supposed. Silly feelings.

"These are pretty good," Eliot agreed after swallowing his twelfth cheesy quiche thing of the evening (and they'd only been there half an hour). "I don't know about the best though." He was eyeing the closest waitress as he spoke.

"Come on," Parker said, smacking him on the shoulder. "At least _try_ not to drool all over my party."

They were shouting over the music just to hear each other, and it was a little too dark and a little too warm, but Eliot seemed impressed by his first famous music scene party, so Parker wasn't complaining. She found just having him around was improving her mood. She had been worried about the tour, and nervous about being so far from home, but if Eliot was coming too, she could pretend it was just another one of their adventures, like the trip to Arizona or the time with the couch on the boulevard.

"Parker, bathroom," Sophie shouted by Parker's ear, taking her elbow and dragging her from the dance floor.

Parker leaned on the cool porcelain of the sink, feeling the bass reverberating through the floors and walls while Sophie went into the stall.

"Hi. Cool party, right?" Parker smiled nicely to some girls who were staring at her with wide eyes. They scattered quickly once Parker spoke up.

"Funny," she commented to Sophie, who had just emerged to wash her hands.

Sophie looked at her in the mirror. "What's funny?"

"I just think it's funny how people still act all stupid and giggly at me when this party is for me. Like, obviously I was going to show up."

Shaking her wet hands out over the floor, Sophie smiled. "Oh, that. Yes, well, I suppose that will always happen, so you'd best get used to it. I thought we were going to talk about your new beau."

"What?"

"Eliot. You know? The handsome one who showed up in your hotel room the other night and hasn't left yet?"

Parker laughed. "Eliot? No, no, nothing like that. He's my best friend and everything, but nothing like that. Gosh, no. I've known him since grade school. That would just be weird. So no. No."

Sophie's smile widened and Parker felt her face getting warm for no reason other than complete embarrassment.

"Right, of course not. I'm clearly mistaken," Sophie said, patting her damp hands on her skirt. "I'll just forget we ever even had this conversation, all right?"

"Hmm," Parker said, not willing to say any more because Sophie had that evil twinkle in her eye that Parker knew would get them both in trouble with Nate if Sophie was allowed to continue. Nate called it 'Sophie's bad girl look' and though it had only ended in a screaming match at a police station that one time, Parker was still very wary of it.

"You just make sure you're taking care of you first," Sophie said. It was like one of her catch phrases or something, one that often annoyed Parker. Nate flat out refused to let her get a cat, so who else would she be taking care of?

Sophie left her at the bathroom exit so Parker wandered over to the bar and picked up another drink. It was only her second of the night. Nate had been pretty firm that she shouldn't party too hard. They had a long flight very early in the morning and then three concerts in two days in three cities once they got to Mexico.

Just as Parker turned away from the bar to find Eliot again, a familiar song came over the stereo system. It was one of the less popular songs from her first album. _One Million Dollar Kisses_ had been one of the songs her and Nate had fought about pretty intensely in the early days. She was only partly pleased with the way it had ended up sounding, though Nate still argued tooth and nail that if they had have done it her way, it wouldn't have been any more successful.

Parker always felt awkward about hearing her own music at these parties, but she really liked _One Million Dollar Kisses_. As she started to nod along to the music, she realized it wasn't as familiar as she remembered. "Is this a remix?" she said aloud, if only to herself.

A quick survey of the room revealed a DJ table tucked away under a flight of stairs in one corner. She headed over there, drink in hand, to find out what was going on with the song that was playing, but stopped about four feet short.

The guy behind the table, presumably the DJ, was gorgeous. Not just one of those clearly, easily, pretty people that these big parties seemed to attract, but actually genuinely gorgeous. He had a look of super intense concentration on, like he was really into the music, which was what she the most attracted to. Parker liked passion and dedication in people, especially in gorgeous men who had passion and dedication to music.

He looked up and caught her eye, and she immediately looked away and pretending she was suddenly interested in the contents of her champagne glass, and when she ventured a look back up, he was still watching her, vague smile playing across his face. Parker felt that smile as a little wiggle in her stomach that traveled quickly downwards and flared in her special sparkly place.

Parker threw back the rest of her drink for luck and marched up to his table. He waved her around and pointed to one the laptop screens. She had no idea what he was trying to show her, but she smiled and nodded politely. It was quieter now that she was standing behind the speakers, so she figured she'd try a little small talk before just point blank propositioning the guy for sex.

"Hey," she said.

He grinned again and shrugged, twirling a finger over his head to indicate something -- either that the room was too loud to hear her or that he was secretly a helicopter, Parker wasn't sure. She chuckled a little, 

He said something back, but Parker didn't catch it, so she guess his finger wiggle had meant the noise thing. She shook her head at him and they both smiled awkwardly at each other. After a moment that went on for far too long, the guy made an exasperated 'I have an idea' gesture with his hand on his forehead and clicked a few things on the laptop to his right.

It opened up a notepad document and he typed 'Hey, I'm Alec, it's nice to meet you.'

'Parker,' she typed. 'Same to you. Where did you get this remix?'

'It's one of mine. Do you like it?'

He looked at her hopefully. She nodded, giving him a little one shoulder shrug as if to say it was all right. In truth, she was a little bit over the moon. She had heard tons of remixes of her stuff, but there was something about this one that was just... better. Like Alec had heard exactly what she did when she heard the song, but he put his own spin on it.

That helped her make up her mind, too. If he had the same head for music that she did, she was sure the sex would be good.

'Do you want to get out of here?' she typed. She wasn't sure where the boldness was really coming from, unless she could blame the two drinks she'd had. Even being famous and attending tons of hip parties hadn't turned Parker into the irrepressibly slutty popstar the tabloids made her out to be. Sure, she flirted, but that was basically it.

She shoved aside thoughts of what Sophie had said about her and Eliot because that was something she absolutely was not prepared to revisit tonight, or possibly ever.

There had been something, years before when Parker was in college, a week of maybes and almosts, but that was a long time ago and Alec was here and now which was both geographically and chronologically preferable.

Alec didn't bother typing anything in response to her question, he just opened iTunes and put on a playlist before tucking her arm under his and leading her away from the table and up the stairs. Once they got to the top and through a heavy set of fire doors, the noise of the party faded considerably.

"Hi," he said, smiling awkwardly again. "So, I'm Alec."

"You mentioned that. I'm Parker."

"Yeah, I know. Who you are, I mean. I know who you are."

"Maybe we should just not talk," Parker suggested, trying to be helpful and not knowing if she was coming off bitchy. Even if she was, he didn't seem to have a problem holding the door open for her and following her out, so clearly he wasn't that offended.

The hotel Parker and her people were staying in was three blocks east of the warehouse that was housing the party. She walked quickly and in silence and he followed in fashion. She glanced back at him while they walked and felt that same flip-flopping feeling in her stomach again. He looked so determined, but still a little shy. It would seem that he matched a lot of what Parker was feeling.

She was determined to see it through to the end, especially because she forecasted that it ended with orgasms. She was also still in the process of forgetting the feelings that Eliot had brought up again. Parker was loathe to call it a crush because that sounded so immature, but it was a crush.

Having a new guy around, if only for one night, would be good for her. Maybe she'd work out some of her Eliot issues and get him out of her system.

Alec must have known she was looking at him, because he looked up and caught her eye. He reached out and took her hand, tugging Parker right up against him. It wasn't something she'd ever think she would enjoy, and normally resisted anyone attempt to hold her hand, but Alec was making it work. She let him hold her close as they rounded the last corner to the hotel.

The sex was like a whirlwind. It was the only sex she'd had in months, since before her second album came out, and that meant she was going to enjoy it just on principle, but Alec made it easy to enjoy. He was a great kisser and enthusiastic, and she was able to put aside all the thoughts and anxieties in her head and just focus on the feelings.

Afterwards, he told her she was beautiful, which she thought was sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet. Then she showed him the door. The guy clearly knew who she was and if he thought that after one night of sex she was going to whisk him off to wonderful, new, jet-setting life, he obviously hadn't been reading the right gossip magazines.

Parker was slightly taken aback by how vindictive she suddenly was as she closed the door behind him with nothing more than a perfunctory 'good night, it was nice meeting you.'

She showered, changed, and ordered a sandwich from room service. It was still early, in the grand scheme of the party world, but since the rush of adrenaline and endorphins had worn off, she found herself more anti-social than usual. Besides, she didn't really want to be in the same room as that Alec guy after shoving him out the door before the sheets had even cooled off.

Alone once again in a boring hotel room so far away from home, Parker was struck with a wave of existential apathy. She wasn't sure what her purpose was or why her life was the way it was, but she couldn't bring herself to care either.

Maybe a huge tour would be good for her, she thought. It would get her away from the fake parties and recording studios and publicity things that she didn't really like and back to just the performing, which she loved. Maybe it would help get her back into a happy place; it would be exhausting, which would leave little room for anything else.

And having Eliot around would be good. He always had a way of levelling her out when she was upset or stressing. She had a few songs she was working on that he might be able to help with, too. It was Eliot who taught her to play guitar after all.

Parker must have fallen asleep thinking because Eliot was nudging her with his foot when she opened her eyes again.

"Hey, what the hell was that?" he asked, crossing his arms across his chest. "You went to the bathroom with your friend and never came back."

"Oh," she said, blinking back sleep. "Yeah, sorry, El."

"It's fine," he said. Parker could tell he was upset, not that she blamed him, but she wasn't in the mood.

"Hey, I --"

"What was his name?" Eliot asked suddenly, before Parker could even try to apologize again for ditching him.

"I beg your unbelievable pardon?"

"His name. I know you asked. At least, the Parker I've known my whole life would have asked." The edge to his voice could have cut something.

"Go to bed, Eliot," Parker said, trying to find her own edge.

"We're not going to talk about this?"

She thought he might be a little bit drunk, but she had worked with Nate long enough to know not to point it out. "No."

"... Fine."

"Fine."

\--

Breakfast might have been awkward if they had had time for breakfast, but Nate was pounding on the door and rushing everyone out of the hotel before breakfast was even an option.

"I still can't believe he got you a plane," Sophie said as her and Parker shared a cab with Parker's full time body guard, Quinn, on the way to the airport.

"It's for all of us, Soph."

"Yes, but it'll be your face on the side of it."

Parker grimaced. "I hope you're lying. That sounds absolutely terrible."

There was a bit of quiet, just the cabbie's choice of talk radio for company, until Sophie turned to Parker with a very serious expression. "Why am I here instead of Eliot? Did you two fight? He still slept in your room, right?"

In the front seat, Quinn took that as his cue to start a loud conversation with the driver about basketball scores.

"Sophie, I don't want to talk about it," Parker said. She pulled a pair of oversized sunglasses from her carry-on bag and tried to hide behind them. But there wasn't sunglasses big enough to hide from Sophie when she wanted to gossip.

"He looked pretty upset," Sophie continued.

"Yeah, maybe."

Sophie smiled, a sad little half smile that Parker had come to associate with Sophie reserving judgement. It was a smile Parker got a lot from her and always made Parker feel like a kid again. "He's such an ass," Sophie said in a way that Parker understood was meant to be comforting.

"Maybe..." she said again.

"But how about the new fella'?" Sophie asked, perking up again. "He's kind of cute. Maybe that could be something." She said 'something' like a conspiracy.

Parker was confused. She didn't remember Nate telling her about a new hire. "New guy?"

Classic Nate, always micro-managing. She remembered their first encounter, that night twenty-two months ago at Eliot's bar. He'd approached her after her show one night.

"So, Parker," Nate said, once they'd dispensed with formalities. "What sort of representation do you have?"

"You mean like an agent?" She sipped her beer and tried to concentrate on the conversation at hand and not at the suddenly loud noise from the radio kicking back on.

"Yeah, like that. Who's your agent? Who do I contact if I want to book you for a gig?"

"Well, I play here every Wednesday, so most people ask me then. But you could leave a message here for me, if I wasn't here. Eliot's good about giving me messages." She flashed a smile at the Eliot behind the bar, who probably couldn't hear them over the noise, but glared at Nate anyways, presumably on principle.

Nate gave her a blank stare in return. "Okay. So you don't have an agent. I can work with that."

"Wait, you really want to work with me?" Every kid dreams about being famous, but Parker hadn't been a kid in years. She had a regular job now, and her own apartment, and she didn't live in a pop culture vacuum. She'd seen movies about the small town girl who gets sucked into a world of drugs and sex and rock 'n' roll by the handsome, mysterious big time talent man.

"Absolutely," Nate said, instantly and earnestly (Parker learned quickly that Nate could say almost anything in the world and still sound one hundred percent earnest). "You've got a fabulous voice. I really think you could go far. You just need one really good anthem, an image to sell it, and me."

And so far, despite the fact that didn't always see eye to eye, he hadn't been wrong.

Sophie made a disappointed noise. "Nate didn't mention the new guy? I told him he should clear it with you. The party last night was a dry run for the new tech person. Yeah, Nate hired the DJ from last night to do all the sound and light stuff on tour. He was pretty good, right? And I thought he was pretty cute."

Parker hated the fact that they were in a cab and not anywhere near a brick wall she could hit her head against. "You're joking."

"No? Why, is that bad?"

"It's great," Parker said, hoping to avoid all further discussion on the topic. Forever.

"Good because he's officially on staff. He and Eliot caught a cab with Nate right before us. Ooh, I'm excited for all this," Sophie grinned and continued to talk about tour things for the rest of the ride, but Parker stopped listening. She would be worried about Nate and/or Eliot finding out and tearing a piece of Alec, but she was more worried that they might just tear pieces off each other.

\--

Nate had not been kidding when he told Parker they were going to do the world tour right. She had assumed that meant 'go to other countries, play music for people, do it well', and that was going to be part of it, but it also meant 'making a statement'. The statement was that Parker was great and everyone should love her which wasn't a statement Parker necessarily disagreed with, but...

"That's me. Literally me. On the side of a plane. Oh my god."

"Wow!" Eliot said with a bright laugh. "That is just... wow."

"It's not funny, it's disturbing," she said miserably, giving him a dirty look.

He laughed again and pulled her against him in a one armed hug. "It'll be all right. Look, little one, I'm sorry."

Parker pushed her face into his shirt and took a deep breath, immediately regretting it. He smelled _good_ and now she was having flashbacks about his aftershave and the high school memories it was bringing back.

"I know. It's okay," she finally said when she'd swallowed down her feelings to avoid blurting out something she'd regret.

Eliot kissed her on the top of the head and they didn't say anything else about it.

Nate sidled up with travel documents and passports for everyone, and very specific directions before seeing someone else he hadn't lectured yet and chasing them down the concourse.

"Does he always micro manage like that? He wouldn't even let me pee this morning because we were like, forty one seconds behind schedule." Alec walked up to them with his paperwork in hand and a tired look on his face. "Because I seriously did not expect this when I signed up for the next however many weeks. I need my uninterrupted bathroom time, okay?"

"Hey, Parker, did you meet Alec yet? He's always this chatty. I think he's going to be... something technological." Eliot said 'chatty' like it was a terrible disease. In Eliot's mind, it was.

"Hi," Alec said, flashing her a brief grin. Parker tried to ignore the feeling of icicles simultaneously forming and melting in her stomach when he smiled.

"Hey." She braced for whatever he was about to say.

And nothing came. He was still smiling awkwardly looking between Parker and Eliot, but other than that, he wasn't berating her for being discourteous or a brazen hussy or anything else.

"Okay, we're ready to board. Everyone's got everything? Cell phones and stuff off, people! Quinn, you stick with Parker until we're in the air, right?" There was a flurry of movement when everyone on staff for the tour started moving at once, double checking bags and locating cell phones and talking excitedly.

Parker had flown more than a dozen times by now, so she was generally used to planes and the whole involved process of boarding and being seated and everything. Once, Nate had splurged and bought the two of them first class tickets from Orlando to Los Angeles. Parker had been so surprised at the difference she noticed. First class fucking rocked.

But nothing prepared her for her private jet. She stood inside the cabin, just standing there, in awe.

"Holy crap," Alec said, with a low whistle. "This is just..."

"Fucking awesome," Eliot finished happily.

The plane was beyond awesome, Parker thought. For her first American tour (10 shows, 3 states) she's gotten regular class, multi-layover flights, crappy motels, smelly cab drivers, and way too much fast food. For her second American tour to promote her second album (36 shows, 20 states), Nate had upgraded them to a tour bus. Parker thought she was in heaven...

But the plane. Oh, the plane was something else entirely.

"Not bad, hmm?" Nate said when he turned around and Parker was still staring admiringly at the soft colours and extremely comfy looking chairs. "See, I come through for you sometimes."

"You always come through," she said, throwing her arms around him.

Nate extricated himself quickly and patted her awkwardly on the shoulder instead. "Well, let's go sit down and buckle up for takeoff. It's about a five hour flight to Mexico City and the first show is tonight at nine. Sound check will take at least two hours. Lots to do, people, and very little time! Prep everything you can before we get there."

"We'll start on your hair once we're in the air," Sophie said, waggling her bag in Parker's direction. "I'm so glad we went with the mermaid theme for the first few shows. I have such ideas!"

"A mermaid theme?" Alec asked as he followed Nate towards the front of the plane.

"Best not to ask," Parker heard Nate say. "We just have to hope it doesn't involve a live octopus."

Parker hoped that too, but Sophie only had her oversized purse and not a cooler, so she thought she was safe.

"This is your captain speaking," came a voice over the overhead speaker. "If you could all find seats and strap in, we can get this show on the road."


	2. One Million Dollar Kisses

The stadium at Mexico City was bigger than ninety percent of the venues Parker had played in her life. When they showed up just in time to start the first sound check, Parker nearly turned around and ran out again. Eliot caught her by the elbow and pulled her back.

"Relax, Parker, it's just a concert. You've done this a thousand times before."

She scowled. "Playing to a bunch of drunks in the back of your bar doesn't really count."

"Well, you've done a lot more than just that. But why is it so different anyway? I mean, besides the fact that you have a boat made of glitter in your hair now, this is basically the same. Just a little bigger."

She touched her hairboat self consciously. "Is the boat too much? I told Sophie it was a lot."

"No, no," Eliot said quickly, obviously aware of what kind of landslide was heading for him if he let it. "I like it. It's... nautical. Just got get ready and I'll, uh... Find something to do."

"Okay," Parker said. She left him standing in the middle of the slanting sea of seats and followed a stage hand backstage with Quinn and Sophie in tow.

After that, she fell into the rhythm of pre-show rituals and routines. Sophie and her assistant, Zoe, started on her makeup -- and it was a lot of makeup -- while Parker talked to a reporter from the local paper. It was the same boring questions as ever, about where she got her inspiration from, and how was she liking the city and on and on. Parker liked the routine and had a lot of very similar answers she used when asked. It was calming, like reciting a familiar quote or something.

As Quinn showed the reporter out of the dressing room, Eliot slipped in. "Hey, I ... Whoa."

"Shut up, I look awesome," Parker said sharply. She was a little sensitive about her fins, mostly because A, it was the most complicated costume she's probably ever worn, and B, they were fins.

"That's what I was going to say," he said with a huff. "But now I won't. Hey," Eliot said, with a quick smile to Sophie and Zoe.

"Eliot, you met Sophie on the plane. And this is Zoe, my other stylist."

"Assistant stylist, really," Zoe said, looking away from Eliot's million watt smile. Parker smacked his hand, having seen that smile a hundred times before, but he ignored her and Zoe didn't seem to notice either.

"Really good to meet you," he said, offering her his hand. She took it after a second and Parker could see the blush colouring her face.

Sophie caught Parker's eye and made a face. Parker rolled her eyes and shrugged, as if to say 'get used to it.'

"You want me to fire her?" Sophie asked in a quiet voice. "We can leave her in Mexico; I bet she'll never find her way home again."

Parker laughed. "Sophie, you're being ridiculous."

"Just know that the offer stands," Sophie said with a wink.

"Sound is ready for you, Parker. If you're done here, that is..." Quinn eyed her outfit and makeup form the door, obviously not sure what 'done' was when it came to mermaids.

She wanted to tell Eliot that she was leaving, but he seemed pretty absorbed in his conversation and Zoe's laughter seemed a little too fake and forced so obviously that meant it was going well. Parker didn't want to interrupt. She thanked Sophie and followed Quinn back to the stage.

The sound check went great and Parker was riding high on endorphins and hair spray when Alec met her at the corner of the stage with an urgent look.

"What's up?" she asked cautiously.

"Set list. I need it like, half an hour ago."

"Crap, sorry. I forgot. Nate said you were going to need it, but I totally... Why are you staring at me?"

"There is a boat in your hair," Alec said with a little shrug. "I'm having trouble concentrating on what you're saying."

"Okay, what is with everyone fixating on the boat? There's more than just the boat." She took a piece of paper form a stage hand and started scribbling out her set list for the evening.

"Well, I thought you might kick me off your tour if I fixated on your, uh... shells." Despite his words, Alec snuck a definite peek at said shells.

"Look, last night was --"

"Can we not do this?" he asked. "Like, can we not do it right now? Let me get my first day finished without any major fuck ups and then we can talk. Or not talk, whatever works."

"Sure," Parker said. She was kind of hoping to get through her first night without any major fuck ups either.

"Thanks," Alec said. She wasn't sure if he meant the set list she'd just handed him or something else, but he smiled again and she felt that same giddy, flip-flopping feeling in her stomach. If the complete awkward feelings he kept giving her didn't go away soon, it was going to be an extremely long nintey-two shows.

"Oh, and Nate said you had a thing with green lights?"

"I hate them," she told him. "They make my hair look awful."

"Your hair... Or your hairboat?"

Parker rolled her eyes, but good-naturedly. Even in the few short conversations they'd had after their initial encounter, he'd made her laugh every time. "Stop eye-fondling my hairboat and go do your job."

"I can't even begin to tell you where that sentence went off course, I just need you to know that it really, really did," Alec said with that feelings-inducing smile again. "Break a leg!"

Parker wandered back to centre stage and considered just whose legs she wanted to break. Sophie was leaning on the wall just offstage, smiling and nodding along to the background noise like it was music. Parker gave her a little wave and she waved back. At least some things still made sense.

Instead of hiding in her dressing room, Parker decided to stick around and watch the opening act from the wings. It was a local band she'd never heard of, but their energy was great and she found herself singing along in terrible Spanish for a couple songs.

"Shouldn't you be meditating or something? Getting ready to go on?" Nate said, all but sneaking up on her. He had to talk with his mouth right to her ear to be heard over the music, but that was about par for the course for their line of work.

"I'm fine. I'm excited, actually." She smiled brightly, in case he needed a little reassurance.

He stared at her for a few seconds, but then nodded. "Have fun out there," he told her before hurrying off to see to something else that no doubt needed to be seen to. Nate never walked, Parker noted. He always hurried.

"Eliot's got my assistant bent over the counter in your dressing room, doesn't he?" Sophie asked once Nate was out of sight. Parker cringed visibly.

"Be more crass, Soph."

"I could have been! I could have said his penis was --"

"No, don't," Parker said quickly, knowing full well how many swear words Sophie knew. There was something unsettling about proper, polite Sophie knowing that many synonyms for 'penis' anyways. She ducked out of the way of a guy carrying a heavy looking light.

"We can leave her in Mexico," Sophie said again, rubbing her hand soothingly across Parker's back, but carefully so as not to upset any fins. "And we can just shove him out of the plane on our way to... Wherever it is that we're going next."

"Rio," Parker said. "And for the last time, I don't care what he does with his dick. We're just friends."

"Still," Sophie said.

Parker sighed loudly. She got closer to Sophie and leaned in, just in case anyone could hear them above the music. "Sophie, can I tell you something? You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Of course, dear, you know that always allowed."

"I slept with the new DJ guy."

"What, just now?" Sophie looked around like she would see evidence of it.

"No, last night, before I knew I was ever going to see him again."

Sophie eyed her closely, reading something on Parker's face that she didn't know she was betraying. "Are you okay?"

"Of course. No, it wasn't anything bad, just. Sex for the sake of sex."

Sophie 'tsked' in sympathy. "Let me guess, small package? That's odd, you know, because they say --"

"Please don't tell me what they say," Parker said quickly. "And I don't really want to talk about it? I just thought I should tell you because I feel like it's going to be a thing."

"Like, a regular thing?" Sophie asked, clearly not meaning the same 'it' that was going to be a 'thing' as Parker did.

"God, no. I meant, it might turn into a fight or someone might get fired." Parker thought that was clear enough that time, since she was _the_ Parker and probably wouldn't fire herself.

"We can push _him_ out of the plane," Sophie reminded her.

"Yah, thanks, Soph." There was something endearing about Sophie's willingness to commit violence on Parker's behalf.

"Eighteen minutes 'til you're on," Sophie said, changing the subject. "Excited?"

"Yes," Parker said with a happy sigh. "It's been months since I did a proper show. I'm anxious to get out there and blow them away."

"Good. You know I love it when you're happy."

Parker gave Sophie a kiss on the cheek. "I am happy," she assured her.

Sophie beamed. "Do you need anything before you go on? Water? A hug?"

"I'd love a hug, but after. I don't want to smudge my scales."

"Right, right. Okay. You know what to do."

'You know what to do' was their version of 'break a leg' or 'good luck'. Parker grinned back at Sophie and rushed away to get into her proper place. The smile across her face was permanent, it seemed, because she just couldn't shake it. For all the other complicated, messy things in her life, performing was the thing that made all the bullshit fly away.

One of the stage hands checked her microphone one last time and even though her hands were way too cold, Parker thanked her with a smile.

A disembodied voice from the ceiling thanked the opening band and welcomed Parker to the stage. The crowd went absolutely wild and Parker's heart soared with the first few thudding beats of the music. It was going to be a good night.

\--

"Incredible," Sophie shouted over the noise from the crowd as Parker all but limped offstage after her final encore. "You were just absolutely incredible."

"Thanks, Sophie," Parker said, immediately bending to pull her high heels off. "Ugh, so glad to be out of these."

Sophie took the shoes gently, cradling them like expensive, sequined babies. "And you did 'Banging In The Backseat'. I love that one!"

Parker beamed. "I know, you were always saying. I think we're going to do a video for it when we get back to the States. Something big and unruly. Eliot laughed his ass off when I told him. He said there was no way I could pull off something that dirty."

"Well, that's just because you're not as dirty as him," Sophie said. "Water?"

Parker took the bottle gratefully and tipped it back, half missing her mouth and not caring. "Oh my god, water is amazing. I love water."

"Spoken like a true mermaid," said Nate, coming up behind them. "Amazing set, as always."

Parker beamed.

"Did you have plans for tonight?" Nate asked. "Because I booked you for a morning radio show tomorrow at seven a.m. and I need you to be at least conscious for it. It's radio, so you don't need to look your best, but they want to ask a couple standard questions about the new album and the single and whatnot."

"Oh my goodness," Parker said, drawing out the 'oo' sound with a goofy grin. "Okay. I don't think I had plans. I thought you had parties and stuff planned?"

"Not here, but in Rio next week you've got a very busy schedule. I tried to balance it out for you."

Parker ruffled his hair, which she knew he hated, but she was still full of adrenaline and smiles from the show. "Thanks, Nate. Sophie, can you help me wash all this glitter out of my hair? I feel like I could decorate all the drag queens in Mexico right now."

Eliot made a disgusted noise, like he had walked into exactly the wrong part of the conversation. "Oh, Parker, that's just such a mental image."

She tried not to give him her Eyes of Ultimate Judgment, which his rumpled clothes and definite sex hair absolutely deserved, and instead just hugged him.

"You reek like sex," she told him with a smile, even though there was a tiny, angry voice in the back of her head that told her to punch his lights out. Parker ignored that voice just like she ignored most of the voices in her head.

"Sorry," he said, clearly not meaning it at all.

"I hope you left Zoe in one piece," Sophie said dryly, glaring reproachfully.

"Who?" Eliot asked. "Oh, right, yeah, she'll be fine."

Parker winced a little, knowing Sophie was counting down the hours in her head until they'd be back on the plane and she could shove him out the airlock.

"Wow," Sophie said, showing surprising restraint before she walked away.

"Don't piss Sophie off," Parker said. She gave Eliot a careful look. There were thoughts bubbling up inside her, words that wanted out, but she wouldn't say them. Instead, she gave him a warning. "And try not to get yourself into too much trouble, okay? Nate already doesn't want you here, so if you fuck everyone on the tour over, you're going to get yourself kicked off."

"I didn't fuck anyone over," Eliot said.

"Well, you fucked Zoe and it's the same thing. Look, let's not argue about it, let's just celebrate how awesome I was tonight and leave it at that?"

"You were awesome," he assured her with a grin. "Drinks?"

"Tacos!" she said instead, smacking his arm excitedly. "Let me just, you know, get all this off."

It was still early on in the mermaid routine, something they had originally intended to keep for the first half of the tour, then switch it up for something fresh. Parker knew there were still kinks to work out, but the makeup and hair took almost as much time to get out of as it did to get into.

Zoe was helping to get the wooden and plastic boats pieces from Parker's hair, and every time she leaned over to set a piece aside or reach for more conditioner, Parker could smell Eliot all over her. Parker closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at the dumb, dreamy smile on Zoe's face.

If subjected to it much longer, Parker knew the urge to lean over and bite her wherever she could find bare skin would take over, and then Parker would have to taste Eliot on her too. That was the most repulsive thought. So, Parker kept her eyes closed and her mind on the thought that she didn't care where Eliot stuck his dick.

Finally, Sophie and Zoe were done taking all the sections of boat from Parker's hair and she could sit up without having to hunch over the sink anymore. Sophie sent Zoe on an errand to go find something or someone, and for that Parker was eternally grateful.

"So, tell me, what exactly is the history there? You and Eliot, I mean." Sophie took the make up remover to Parker's face like a woman on a mission.

Parker didn't want to rehash all the details, especially the ones that made her look like an emotional little girl, but Sophie was not going to let it drop.

"Regular story, I guess," Parker said. "We met in grade school. It was my first day at the school and some older boys took my bunny and tried to bury her in the sand, so Eliot beat them up. But when he went to pick up bunny, I thought he was going to try and steal her too, so I punched him in the nose. Eliot lied to the principal and got Bradley Waters in trouble for it. He said it was so the foster home didn't send me away, but I think he was just embarrassed that a little girl made him bleed."

"And that's it?" Sophie asked.

"That's it until I was in college and he came to visit for a weekend and I told him I liked him and that we should date and he said he couldn't because I was like his little sister."

"Ouch," Sophie said with a wince.

"Yep. And when I got upset and started to cry, he backpedalled and tried to say it was more than that, like a deeper connection than just brother and sister, and he ended up comparing me to his dog."

"Oh my god," Sophie said, her cough not covering her laugh.

Parker felt herself blushing just at the memory. She wanted to kick the crap out of him at that point, or punch him in the face again like she had the first time they'd met. Instead she cried herself to sleep in his lap while he stroked her hair. Really not her favourite thing to remember.

"And now?"

"Now? Now I don't care anymore," Parker said. "We're friends and that's all."

Sophie made a noise, like a sigh and huff. "Right, okay. Ooh. Ooh. This might be tricky..."

The skin on Parker's shoulders and chest had a few pieces of ... Parker wasn't sure what, vinyl maybe, glued there to look like scales. Sophie had assured her that they would come off with a little soap and water, but that was not the case.

"Holy mother fuck!" Parker shouted, swatting Sophie's hands away. "What the hell?"

Sophie made a face. "Sorry, honey. Let me see." She poked and prodded and Parker tried not to grimace. "Okay, now, I think I know what happened. Don't be mad."

'Don't be mad' was possibly the one phrase in the world that always made Parker instantly mad. "What? What is it?"

Sophie was busy flipping through things in her giant makeup as she answered. "I think the lights heated up your skin, which heated up the glue and made it stronger."

"Shouldn't it have just melted off then?"

Sophie shrugged. "I'm not a scientist. I think this will help, but you have to promise not to hit me if it doesn't work." She held up a little bottle with a label too smudged for Parker to read.

Parker sighed. "Okay. But is it going to hurt?"

"Quite possibly. I'm sorry, dear."

Parker braced herself while Sophie wiped whatever it was in the little bottle with the sharp herbal smell all over the scales. "Okay," Sophie said, and then, "I'm sorry, dear."

Once the scales were off and Sophie had sworn up and down she'd find a better way to do them before the next show, Parker slunk off to find a ride back to the hotel they were staying at for the night.

"Hey," Eliot said, looking up at her when she walked through the door and threw her coat on the bed.

"Hey, Eliot. Do you still do all that meditation crap?" she asked, when she saw him on the floor. It had always been something that both baffled and amused her about him, and seeing him on the floor on his jockeys was more than a little jaw dropping. She gathered her thoughts quickly before she imagined jumping his bones in vivid technicolour.

"It's yoga," Eliot corrected her. "And I keep telling you, you should give it a try. It would even you out and get rid of all that negative energy."

"I don't have negative energy," Parker said, flopping onto the bed and trying to worm her way out of her cardigan without sitting up.

"You're _made_ of negative energy," he assured her. "And I bet it would help you clear your mind so you could work on some of those songs you've been talking about. You can get some pretty intense focus when you're doing it."

"Isn't it just bending?" Parker sometimes got bored in long showers, so she really didn't think she had the attention span for hours of yoga.

"Uh, there's a lot more to it than that," he said, settling back down and sounding only the smallest bit annoyed. This was a conversation they'd had many times before and he obviously was better at not taking it personally when Parker poked him in the nipples while he was doing his Compass Pose or whatever he called it.

"I'll pass for now," she said, rolling onto her back and finally freeing herself from her oppressive outerwear. "Ooh, do I smell tacos?"

"Yeah, you said you wanted them, so I stopped and picked them up. Half chicken, half beef, guacamole on the side."

Parker beamed. "It's like you know me or something."

"Heh, yeah, magic. Hey, what happened to you?" Eliot asked, catching sight of the angry red marks across her skin. "Allergies?"

Parker touched the warm spots on her chest. "Probably a little. We had some trouble taking off the scales Sophie glued on me. She's working on a better plan for tomorrow night though."

"Good," Eliot said. He stared at her carefully for a moment before getting up and walking over to her. "That looks pretty bad. Let me see, little one."

Something about hearing that nickname from him always made her compliant and she dropped her hands. He was gentle when he touched her, just the ghost of his fingertips across the painful places, soothing her and exciting her at the same time. Parker took a deep breath and held it, counting the seconds in her head until he finally took his hands away.

"Do you have something we can put on those? Vitamin E or something, maybe."

Parker let out her held breath in a rush. "Maybe. Check my travel bag in the bathroom." She sent him to find it instead of getting up herself, because in addition to her very sore feet, her head was suddenly spinning.

Parker knew her usual method for dealing with Eliot and the stupid butterflies he put in her stomach (that was, 'ignore, avoid, change the subject') was coming to the end of its usefulness, especially considering Nate was refusing to make any changes to his carefully calibrated budget and Eliot was sharing a room with Parker for the duration of the tour.

Before she had left to become famous and be universally adored, she and Eliot had worked out an easy-to-deal-with dynamic, a 'best friends, no benefits' kind of relationship that had worked so well. But absence, it seemed, made the heart a hell of a lot fonder.

Talking to him on the phone was okay, she always managed to save her 'I love you's until he hung up. But now he was always around and it as driving Parker crazy. He was there right after a shower, wet hair dripping all over whatever Parker was doing, or stretched out like a cat doing his annoying yoga, or he was there when she ordered a Greek salad and offered to eat all the olives because he knew she hated them. Stupid, sexy Eliot.

Eliot found what he was looking for in Parker's bag and came back. "Here, sit up," he said, prodding at her.

She let Eliot fuss over her, smoothing the cream over the sore spots on her skin. If she had any breath left, she would have told him it felt nice. Hopefully the redness would be gone in the morning and he wouldn't need to fawn over her any more. Parker didn't think she could take any more of his casual intimacy and stupid caring attitude.

"You do know that I care about you?" he said carefully, looking at his hands and not at her. "Like, a lot, right?"

"Yeah," Parker muttered, trying not to lean into his touch and failing just a little.

"Good," Eliot said, his voice barely over a whisper. Parker's eyes snapped open and she pulled away before the situation spiralled out of her control. She felt like it was going to.

She made him sleep on the couch that night, despite his vocal protestations that they'd been sharing beds off and on since they were kids and that the couch was lumpy and had questionable stains.

"Tough," she said. "I want my space." And then, because she was feeling petty and wanted someone to take it out on, she added "and you still smell like pussy. You get the couch."

"I showered," Eliot said, shooting her a glare. "Do I at least get a pillow?"

"... Fine. But you're not allowed to enjoy it."

Eliot scowled and Parker smiled sweetly. "Goodnight, El."

"'Night," he said, after a long moment and a longer stare.

Parker thought she would feel better with Eliot at a safe distance, but she really didn't.

\--

Parker went to her radio interview the next morning in track pants and a deep frown.

"Something wrong, girly?" Quinn asked, escorting her from the car to the station doors.

"Didn't sleep well," she said with a sigh. "Nothing really new."

Quinn frowned too. "Take care of yourself. We worry about you."

Parker wasn't sure about the 'we' he was referring to, but she was touched nonetheless. "I will. I think it's all the excitement from staring the tour. I'll be okay by our next stop. We leave again tonight, right?"

Quinn nodded with an easy smile. "Yep, we'll be in São Paulo before breakfast and you go onstage at..." he flipped open a bright blue folder labelled 'DAY 1 - 4' in Nate's blocky print to check the exact itinerary. Parker rolled her eyes. "The Olympia at seven pm, local time. Says here that's four hours ahead of what we're at now."

Parker nodded, piecing it together in her head. She had a blue folder too, and the red one that came after it, but she had almost immediately dumped the paper back into Nate's briefcase when he wasn't looking and started her collection of interesting bits of paper she was going to find during the tour in them instead.

The blue one was for funny food labels and the red one was for any handwritten notes she would find. She liked to imagine that all of them would be deeply romantic love notes, or spy messages.

"Okay, cool. You take care of yourself too, Quinn. There's some crazies out there." She meant it good naturedly, but almost as she said it, Quinn opened the door to the radio station and the screaming of her adoring fans assaulted them.

And that was basically the rest of the day for her. Fans, fans, fans, and a Swiss cheese and peanut butter sandwich. Alec eyed her from across the lounge at the airport as she ate her sandwich.

"What is that?" he asked finally, getting up and moving over to her with look of horrified fascination lighting up his face.

"Peanut butter and Swiss cheese," Parker said, spitting a few crumbs across the screen of his phone and his paused game of Doodle Jump. "Oh, sorry."

He laughed and wiped the phone on her sleeve. "No problem," he said easily. "If it gets ruined, you can just buy me a new one. Job expenses and whatnot."

Parker smiled too, finding him infectious. "You'd have to go through Nate for that kind of thing and trust me, he's not too forgiving about broken phones."

"Noted," he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Nate came and told them it was time to board the plane. Parker wondered briefly what he'd been about to say, but getting on the plane always got her nervous and excited and she forgot in the flurry of movement.

"How was it out there?" Sophie asked as they took their seats on the flight heading for São Paulo.

"Crazy," Parker said, dropping her head back against the headrest. "Just insane. I think I signed like, five hundred autographs today? Maybe more. Half of them weren't even my name. I just scribbled words. Potato and pagoda and picnic. The P is the only important part."

Sophie laughed. "And I'm sure those will all be worth money someday."

"They're all worth money now," Parker pointed out. "I'm a hot commodity."

"You sound like Nate," Sophie said, rolling her eyes.

"Is Nate a hot commodity too?"

"Ugh, don't get me started," Sophie sighed. "He seems to think he is."

"... So, you and him, that's over?"

Sophie gave Parker a long look. "I doubt it ever really started. That man is so frustrating. But I don't like talking about my own boy trouble. How is your boy trouble going?"

Parker gave Sophie a pained look. "Shh!" She glanced around the cabin, making sure no one was listening in.

"I don't even know, Soph," Parker said, finally accepting the fact that everyone else was otherwise occupied. "I feel like such a stupid little girl again."

"Having Eliot around?"

Parker's mind was spinning just a little, and she didn't think she could blame it all on the busy day. A lot of it was definitely extra thoughts and emotional bullshit brought on by Eliot's reappearance, which was dumb because he was supposed to be making her feel better. She thought of the best way to phrase her response to Sophie's question.

"Yes. No. Not exactly. It's just having all these dumb feelings makes me feel... I just wish I could hate him. It would be so much easier."

Sophie chuckled. "That's the worst thing about men, darling. It's so hard to hate them because we know they're just as hopeless as we are." Sophie patted her hand reassuringly, but Parker wasn't reassured.

Parker was quiet for a moment, considering the reality behind that thought. "I think I'm actually, for real in love with him." It was weird to hear it out loud, even though her voice was pitched barely above a whisper. She glanced around again, but no one was paying any attention. She caught sight of Alec across the cabin, playing cards with Quinn, and felt a twinge of guilt.

Sophie gave her a smile halfway between amused and pitying. "That's nothing to be ashamed of, Parker. Isn't he your best friend? I think that happens to best friends a lot of the time. And I know that that works out into 'happily ever after' just as often as two people who never knew each other do."

Parker tried to make sense of what Sophie was telling her, but it wasn't adding up. "I don't buy it. He's ruining my life just by existing."

With a dry chuckle, Sophie patted Parker's arm. "That about sums up relationships. How about I get you a drink?"

Parker was about to refuse, to tell Sophie that drinking away her boy problems was something college Parker would have done, but it was going to be six hours before the plane touched down again and she could hear Eliot's bright, loud, laugh from thirty feet away. Yeah, that sound wasn't going to remind her of all the nice things she wanted but apparently couldn't have for the next three months or so.

"Make it a double," she said miserably, sinking further down into her seat.

\--

A few days later was the first time she accidentally walked in on Eliot fucking some random chick, it was her own damn fault. She had walked into the ladies' washroom in the VIP lounge at the airport in Bogotá with the intention of peeing before boarding their flight to Lisbon, so clearly she had been asking for it.

Neither Eliot or the waitress noticed her, so she slipped back out into the lounge without saying anything and threw herself into the first empty chair she saw.

"Hey, you, I've been meaning to talk to you…" Alec said, smiling over at her. Parker cringed, probably visibly, because he cocked his head and gave her an amused look.

"Sorry," she muttered. "It's been a weird week."

"Sure," he said, smiling never fading. Parker didn't understand how he was always so upbeat about everything, but she considered cutting up his brain to see if she could figure it out. "So, it's about your song, Love and Sprinkles. How set are you on the lighting design? I know it's like, super dramatic and everything, but I think if I made some changes, made some of the cues a little softer, it'd be awesome. Softer and like, more emotional instead of a Steve Tyler power ballad, but… good, you know?"

Parker blinked at him. "Sure? Okay, yeah. We can try it." She wasn't even positive she'd heard a word he said.

"Great!" he said with a laugh. "Awesome. Okay, I'll set it up. I called ahead to the arena in Lisbon and they have what we need, so we could even try it tomorrow night, if you're up for it."

She nodded again, eyes fixed on the bathroom door. As much as it was driving her up the wall to fixate on it, she _really_ had to pee.

"You okay, boss?" Alec asked, poking her gently.

Parker sighed, finally looking at him. "Yeah, I just have to pee and there's someone in there. Sorry."

He chuckled. "Use the men's room? And then we can talk once you can focus on something other than your bladder."

"The men's?"

Alec shrugged. "Well, I doubt anyone is going to give you a hard time if they catch you. You're the one and only Parker."

Well, that was true if nothing else. She tried to hang onto that fact and ignore the rest.

She peed and came back to Alec's table. Just as she opened her mouth to ask about his plans for Love and Sprinkles, she noticed Eliot, leaning on the wall next to where Nate was sitting, chatting idly and looking sweaty, dishevelled, and perfect.

"Fuck this," Parker muttered. Alec looked taken aback.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. "So, tell me about these lights."

\--

The second time Parker accidentally caught Eliot with some girl, it was five hours later on the plane over the Atlantic Ocean.

He saw her that time; their eyes met over the girl's shoulder while he fucked her up against the counter in the little kitchen. Eliot gave her a strange look, one she was not sure how to return. If she had a bit more practice reading facial expressions, she might have got it, but instead she just ducked her head and ran away. That approach had worked in the past, so she stuck to the status quo. She didn't want to hear whatever he had to say about the girl's pretty eyes or soft mouth. They both knew it was bullshit and he never bothered to remember their names.

Ten minutes later, he sat down next to her. She turned towards the window and put in her headphones. He tried to talk over her music, so she took out her cell phone and pretended she had a hundred text messages to send even though her phone was dead.

Finally, Eliot gave up and went away and Parker was left alone to cry silently into the sleeve of her sweater.

\--

Despite saying that Lisbon had everything they needed, Alec wasn't able to pull together the new lighting. Luckily, the show in was still a great success. Parker was flushed and exhausted, but happy, and she had high fives for everyone when she came off stage after her second encore.

"Thanks! Thank you!" she said to everyone congratulating her on a good show. She kicked off her shoes and let Sophie start fussing over her.

After Sophie unwound her hair and washed out all the sticky glitter, Parker let Quinn carry her, piggy-back style, back to her hotel room. Getting in and out of the cab was tricky, but they managed, and he dropped Parker off in front of her door with a smile and a ruffle of her hair.

And that was the third time she walked in on Eliot boning some random in a semi-public place. The third time overall and the third time that day. Charming. She considered hurling something at him to express her distaste for his choice in hobbies, but instead she just turned and left again, hoping he hadn't seen her.

Whatever, it wasn't like she was bone-tired and running on empty. She didn't need sleep. Actually, now that she thought about it, she really didn't feel like sleeping. She was too pissed to sleep.

The first time, okay, whatever, but the second time, he clearly had understood that she was upset. Why would he go for the trifecta? And in _her_ room? He obviously wanted to upset her. And it was working.

Two could play the casual sex to ruin Parker's good mood game. She was knocking on Alec's door before she could stop herself, playing chicken with an idea in her head and losing.

"Hey," he said. He looked bleary-eyed and rumpled, like she'd just roused him from bed.

"Hey," she said. She suddenly felt uncertain, but she'd be damned if she gave up now. "Sex?"

"Uhhh," Alec said, staring at her. "Pardon?"

"Do you want to have sex with me? Like, tonight. Right now." She was talking way too fast, keyed up on post-show adrenaline and betrayal-fuelled anger.

Alec leaned out of his room and looked both ways up and down the hall, like he was expecting some kind of set up. "Come on in," he said after a long moment.

Parker stripped off her shirt before he even had the door closed again She threw it past him into the hotel room, not caring where it landed.

"Parker, whoa, whoa," he said, holding up a hand to make her pause, hand on the front clasp of her bra. "Are you okay? You seem... not okay."

"I don't want to talk," she said. She knew she sounded moments away from tears, but she was really hoping they could let that pass unnoticed. "I want to fuck."

She knew, even from the short amount of time she'd spent getting to know him, that he was a genuinely good guy. Alec deserved a lot better than being used for cheap stress relief and revenge sex, especially if she wasn't even sure what she needed revenge for. He wasn't the one who had ruined her day and made her feel worthless by going for the oblivious pervert hat trick. She knew that he knew the right thing to do right now would be to turn her down, to send her back to her room.

Parker reached up and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor with her shirt. "Please?" she asked, keeping her voice soft and letting it hitch right at the end of the word. She stepped a little closer and looked up at him through her eyelashes. After a moment, when he didn't step back or tell her 'this is wrong', she hooked two fingers in the waistband of his boxers and stroked a fingernail across the head of his already-hard cock.

As great of a guy he was, he was also, you know, _a guy,_ and Parker knew she was damn near irresistible when she begged. And she was begging.

They had sex right there, her back pressed flat against the wall and one of his arms around her waist. His other hand toyed with her hair and he whispered sweet things to her that made her blush into the dark. She hoped he didn't notice how warm her face was.

"So," he said when they were done and they had both made it to the bed. "You want to tell me what's going on now?"

"No," she said, pulling him down with her. "Sleepy now." And even though it was true, she stayed awake for a long time after that, nestled under one of his lanky arms, listening to him breathe.

\--

Alec was even great the next morning, ordering her a spanish omelette and hot coffee before disappearing into the shower without a word. Parker liked the 'without a word'. She still really wasn't feeling like talking.

"So," she said, when Alec came out of the bathroom. She offered him a cup of coffee, which he took with a small smile. "Sorry, I uh... I sort of..." she paused and thought hard about her words. While she thought, she took a good, long look at him, still wet from the shower and covered from waist to knee with a too-small hotel towel. It was a pretty gorgeous picture, if she was allowed to be a judge.

"Actually, I'm not sorry," she started again. "Why should I be sorry for good sex?"

He chuckled dryly. "I don't know. Do you want to tell me why you suddenly decided to booty call me randomly? I mean, we've been on tour for a few weeks know and you've known about how good the sex is since before then..."

"Yeah..." she said, suddenly wondering that herself. If Eliot was going to keep up at the rate he was going, then she should be able to do the same. "I guess I've been trying to find my footing with this tour and all the travelling and interviews and stuff. Can we... can we not make a big deal out it?"

"No, no, that's fine," Alec said. He stared into his coffee cup. "I won't mention it."

"Thanks," Parker said, then, realizing how terrible the whole conversation probably sounded. "But we can do it again. If you'd like. Not anything serious or monogamous or anything."

"No strings attached? Yeah, okay. Just, uh... Let me know," he said.

Parker left him the last two bites of her breakfast. "See you on the plane," she said with a smile and a kiss on his cheek. She felt a lot better after that, though she wasn't sure why.

Maybe it's because she knew where she stood with Alec. He wasn't playing games with her and there wasn't all that complicated back story. It was like a fresh start with good sex and a tight ass attached.

She walked away from his room in her clothes from the night before and felt strangely good. A lot better than she had the night before. She knew Eliot would be in her room when she got back, but she didn't even really feel as angry as she thought she would. Yeah, maybe she felt like dousing him with some bleach, but his indiscretions didn't even warrant the cleansing power of fire anymore.

"Hey," she said when she let herself into the suite. She snagged a tee shirt out of his duffle bag by the bathroom door, balled it up, and threw it at his sleeping face. "Wake up, jackass."

"Parker? Did you come back here last night?"

She waited until he was sitting up and had his eyes open. "Yeah. Next time I catch you doing... whatever weird kind of reverse cowgirl, rusty trombone, thing that was supposed to be with the concierge last night in my room, I will have security toss you outside without your pants," she warned him.

"Oh, Parker. I'm so --"

"Don't. Just don't," she said, waving a hand at him to shut him up. "Just get dressed. I'll order you some coffee. Sophie's going to be here in a few minutes and we're going to do my hair for the little television segment I'm doing before our flight to Madrid."

"Okay," he said, still in the process of waking up. "You know that the reverse cowgirl and the rusty trombone are two completely different things, right? One of which I really wasn't doing."

"Pants. Now."

It was weird not having any banter. Eliot barely said two more words to her before Sophie showed up with her crate of hair products.

"And how are you this fine morning?" Sophie asked, in her bright and chipper way that Parker would hate on anyone else.

"Fine. All right. Okay."

"That great, hmm?" Sophie said with a smile. She turned Parker this way and that, eyeing her from either side. "What are we doing with your hair this today?"

Parker shrugged. "Surprise me? I want to wear that red dress, with the white glitter."

"Oooh, sexy, I like. Okay, I can work with that." Sophie pushed Parker down into a chair and got to work, teasing and primping. "Are you going to tell me why Eliot nearly knocked me over as I was coming in just now?"

"Um. Promise not to kill him?"

Sophie snorted. "Great lead in. Spill."

"I got back here after the show last night and he had a girl here."

"Here... in your room?" Sophie's comb paused halfway through a stroke, right above a tangle.

"Yeah. Don't say anything."

Sophie set the comb down carefully on the arm of the chair. Parker turned around and looked at her. "Seriously, Sophie, it's fine. I was just... startled. Don't say anything."

With all the regular, 'being internationally famous for being racy, semi-political, and off-beat' drama in her life, Parker didn't really want to deal with 'the guy I'm in love with likes to fuck anything with a pulse in open public areas where I might have to see and now everyone on my staff wants him dead for hurting my feelings' drama too.

"I won't," Sophie said with a sigh. "I wish you would though."

"I threw stuff at him this morning. He knows what he did."

"Have you mentioned that you're completely head over heels for him yet?"

Parker forced the comb back into Sophie's hand. the tangle she was about to work out was going to hurt, but not as much as feelings did. "I told him already, remember? He wasn't interested."

"Right, and he said you were like his dog. I meant have you told him lately, Parker."

"Not planning on it. That would be ... bad. No, I'm making a conscious decision to be so over him. I'm over him. Totally over."

Sophie scoffed, clearly about to say something else when Eliot let himself back in the room with a tray of drinks and a bakery box. "Hey," he said softly, sinking down on the couch across from Parker. "I brought coffee and uhhh. These little custard tart things." He flipped the box open and offered the contents to Parker without meeting her eyes.

"Pasties de nata," Sophie said, glancing into the box. "I'll have one."

Parker plucked two from the box without saying thank you, because she worried she might accidentally say 'I love you, why can't you just see that, what is wrong with you,' instead of 'thanks.' She handed one to Sophie and bit into the second one.

"Yeah?" Eliot said to Sophie. "How do you know?"

Sophie popped it into her mouth in one mouthful and went back to Parker's hair. "It's in Nate's daily package. Does no one read them?"

"No," Eliot said with a shrug. "Are they good?"

Parker nodded.

"Good," he said. He caught her eyes for just a second before looking away. There was something there, something Parker couldn't quite identify. Guilt maybe, or shame. Parker hoped it was shame, even if she knew that it was a pretty out of character thing for Eliot to have.

"So, Eliot, do you have any plans for Barcelona?" Sophie was the very picture of casual politeness while she twisted Parker's hair into braids, but Parker cringed anyway.

"I got Hardison to agree to letting me into the sound booth for the show, so it's going to be cool to watch the concert from up there."

"Really? I asked him if I could sit up there during last night's show and he said that was against some kind of technical regulation," Sophie asked.

Eliot smirked. "I guess you just have to know how to talk to him."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Bribed or blackmailed?"

"Beat him in an arm wrestle."

"Ah. Not a solution I really considered."

Parker tried not to laugh at the thought of how that arm wrestle probably went. Eliot was such a show off sometimes.

"Well, enjoy it. I think Barcelona is going to be our last night with the whole mermaid thing, right Parker?"

They chatted about costuming and set design, Parker occasionally adding a word or two. Mostly she just zoned out while they talked and Sophie teased her hair.

"And that's why I'm chose all leather," Sophie said, snapping Parker back to the conversation.

"All leather? You mean, for your car, right? Sophie, I'm not going to be able to move in that little kitty cat dominatrix outfit you showed me."

"I love that outfit. You're going to be fine."

"Leather... cat suit?"

Parker ignored the sudden interest in Eliot's voice, expecting the mocking would start if she engaged him.

"We'll talk about it," Sophie said, pinning the last piece of hair where she wanted it. "Close your eyes."

They both closed their eyes as Sophie sprayed Parker down with hair spray. "Go, you're done."

Parker kissed Sophie on the cheek before she left and didn't realize she was in the lobby, waiting with Quinn for her cab, that Eliot had followed her.

She turned around with the intention of snapping at him, but the heat just wasn't there. Maybe what she had told Sophie was the truth. Maybe she was finally over him.

"Coming with me?" she asked.

He shrugged carefully. "If you want me to."

Parker shrugged back. "It probably won't be interesting for you."

Eliot gave her a look, like he was somehow annoyed. "Maybe," he said. "But I feel like we haven't got to spend tons of time together. And you're busy, so I guess I'll have to hang out with you while you're working."

"Yeah? You can be a back up dancer, if you want. Ricky's really been annoying me recently, so I'd be happy to fire him."

Eliot stared at her, a total deer in headlights moment. "I don't, uh..."

Parker burst out laughing and poked him in the nose. "Okay, that was funny." She wasn't as mad at him as she had been earlier, or the day before. Something had definitely changed. She put on her third best pair of sunglasses and stepped out through the revolving doors into the street with Eliot staring after her.


	3. Bones In My Teeth

Things were better after that. Parker was pretty sure it was better, anyway. She was spending time with Eliot and it wasn't weird. It was like old times. Almost constant laughter and hijinks and easy, comfortable companionship.

It helped that Spain was the most beautiful place Parker had ever seen. She was absolutely going to come back when she had more time to spend, but as it was, she had to settle for filling disposable cameras with photo after photo. Nate kept trying to buy her a digital camera, but she liked it impermanence behind a disposable. She wanted to take the colours and feelings of the city and keep them inside her forever, memories remaining long after the place and the camera were gone.

After the afternoon concert in Barcelona, she tricked Nate into distracting the front desk staff at the hotel while she and Eliot snuck through the fire escape onto the roof to watch the sunset.

Parker stretched out on her back, watching the sky change from pink to orange to red to purple. She couldn't explain why the sunset here was so much more than the sunset back home, or anywhere else she'd seen on. Maybe part of it was because Eliot was nearby -- she could feel the heat of him closer and warmer than that what was coming off of the roof. It was like old times, she thought, sitting in the bed of his pickup truck and watching fireflies by the creek.

She kicked off her leopard print pumps and sighed a sleepy, contented sigh. Parker considered how much trouble she would get in if she fell asleep on the roof, then decided she didn't care and tugged Eliot's leg over to make herself an acceptable pillow.

The door back down into the hotel banged open and Parker sat up quickly, looking around, ready to come up with a good reason why they were on the roof and apologize, but it was only Alec.

"Oh, hey guys," he closed the door behind him and leaned on it. "Didn't realize you were up here."

Alec came to sit near them, shimmying out of the jacket her was wearing and rummaging through a pocket until he found a pack of cigarettes. He held out the pack, offering it to either of them.

"No thanks," Parker said. "I can't hit the high ones if my lungs are full of goo."

Eliot just glared when Alec offered him the pack.

"Right, sorry," Alec said easily, lighting himself a smoke and dropping the pack on his jacket. "Didn't mean to touch a nerve. How did you like the new light cues for Love and Sprinkles today, Parker?"

After way too many technical foul ups, Alec had finally managed to nail down the new routine and the show that afternoon had been the first chance they'd had to see it in action.

"I thought it was good," Eliot said. "The shells are really a nice touch."

"I was talking more about the new lighting pattern. She gets touchy when you talk about the shells."

"No, I get touchy when you stare at the shells," Parker said with a snort. "But I really liked it, Alec. You were right; with the lights like that, the song seems a lot less like a trashy pop song and a lot more feelings-y."

Alec smiled around his cigarette, despite the dirty look he was still getting from Eliot. "Good, glad you like it," he said. "I'll let you know if I come up with any more revolutionary ideas."

They fell into a companionable silence until the last of the colour had faded out of the sky. The wind was picking up just a little, and it was getting cooler up on the roof.

Parker let the breeze wash over her and flick her hair around her face. She could smell the salt from the ocean and the last traces of cigarette smoke and the whole moment had a profoundly peaceful effect on her, made her feel mellow and like her body had melted away and now she was a part of the sky.

"We should go in," Eliot said finally, as the stars started showing up in the night sky.

Parker pressed her shoes into his hands, laughing and following him down the stairs with Alec trailing behind them. Right before they got to the door back into the hotel, he caught her arm and tugged her away from Eliot.

"I was thinking, tomorrow night, after your concert in Madrid..."

"How about tonight?" Parker cut him off. It wasn't something she had planned on, but he was so awkward and shy about propositioning her for sex that she wasn't going to say no if he wouldn't.

Alec paused for a second, then chuckled. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay. I'll be at your room in about fifteen minutes." She took off down the hall after Eliot, feeling a sense of excitement that she normally had for concerts and Christmas.

She gave Eliot an excuse about having to go meet Nate and ducked out. She met Alec at the door to his room and had him out of his pants without any conversation.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said, breaking away from her kisses. "Hey. What's the rush? Slow down, girl."

Parker sat on the edge of the bed and picked at the bedspread. "Okay, fine."

He watched her and she watched him back. It would be a hilarious moment if she wasn't so tense. What was he waiting for? Why was he staring at her? Parker thought back to the loose, peaceful feeling on the roof and tried to cling to it.

"You have no idea what I mean by 'slow down,' do you?"

She shrugged. "Not really."

He chuckled, which Parker thought was both sexy and annoying. "Here," he said, pulling his tee shirt off and tossing it on the floor. "Let me show you."

Alec got close, straddling her lap and pressing her shoulders until she laid back on the bed. He leaned down over her, kissing at her neck and collarbone. She breathed in deeply, liking both the rush of air in her lungs and the smell of him so close to her. He was smoky and soapy and just the right amount of sweat.

"Is this --"

"Shh," he said, laughing against her skin. "No talking, just _feel_."

Parker thought that was something a deadbeat hippie would say, but she gives him the benefit of the doubt just this once. He had one hand up her skirt, inching towards her panties and she was interested in what he had planned.

What he had planned turned out to be sneaking one finger past her underwear and pressing it inside her with a teasing slowness. Parker tried to wriggle lower, to bring them closer together and get a little more friction, but his weight on top of her held her in place.

Alec laughed again, kissing along her bottom lip while he worked his finger in and out. He curled it against some sweet, electric spot inside her she was only vaguely aware she even had and she jolted against him.

"Oh god," Parker gasped into his shoulder. "Oh god, Alec."

"You can call me that if you want," he said, voice low and smooth, but hitching a little one the end, like he thought he was pretty funny. She honestly didn't think he could be sexier.

It was easier to relax and slow down after that, and to let him coax her towards an orgasm with one finger. It took too long to really be an effective, every day method, Parker thought, but goddamn, you couldn't argue with results.

She finally came with her arms wrapped around his neck and riding out her orgasm against his hand and when she had come down off the high enough to let him go, he flopped down next to her and pulled her close. It was oddly satisfying, having him hold her and press kisses into her hair. She was so comfortable and relaxed and three-quarters asleep that when Alec suggested that she go out with him the next night in Madrid, she agreed.

Parker fell asleep before she could even figure out how she felt about what she'd just agreed to.

\--

Nervous and terrible, she decided about nine seconds after waking up and remembering the next morning. Parker snuck out before Alec woke up and took a cool shower to clear her head.

"You okay, little one?" Eliot asked as she towelled off her hair. He hadn't asked about where she'd been all night, maybe sensing it wasn't something she was going to tell him about. 

Parker leaned out the open bathroom door just in time to see him bend gracefully into another one of his complicated yoga poses. "Yeah, I'm just.... what the fuck is that?"

"Eight Angle pose," he said. "Also called Astavakransana. You're blocking my light."

She dropped the floor under the window to watch, even though she didn't get how he could tell if his eyes were closed, and continued drying her hair. "I think knowing all those dumb names is the hardest part of yoga," she said.

Parker watched the muscles in his forearms stretching and bulging and thought briefly about what it would taste like if she were to lick at his wrists before banishing that thought from her mind and thinking about Alec's forearms instead. They were nice too, even if she hadn't seen them in the midst of tricky yoga action.

"Maybe. Anyways, enough of that," Eliot said, slowly lowering himself to the floor and uncoiling.

Parker snorted and went back to her hair. "You're funny," she told him. "Can you get me some orange juice while I get dressed?" She got back up and went back into the bathroom without waiting for his reply.

He got her some juice, of course, and it was excellent. The juice was a metaphor, she decided. Something to do with something else and her feelings about the men in her life. It was too early in the morning to figure out meaning behind things, and she had a flight, a concert, and date to get ready for.

Instead of puzzling out her thoughts, she drank the juice.

That, it turned out, was the metaphor thing she was looking for. She needed to drink up the juice she had while it was still cool and delicious and refreshing instead of worrying about what juice she didn't have or what juice she would be missing out on in the future or what juice everyone else was drinking.

Okay, so it wasn't a metaphor that would win any awards, but she was thirsty.

"Eliot, come here."

He leaned on the door frame and met her eyes in the mirror as she put on her lipstick. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted you to know that the juice was good and I liked it a lot. Thanks for helping me see that."

Eliot chuckled and kissed the back of her hand. "I don't even get you," he admitted. "But I'm glad you talk to me anyways."

\--

"We're going to blow their minds in Naples," Sophie declared, plunking her sketch book down on Parker's lap on the short haul flight to Madrid.

Naples was the first show of the new theme, even if there were still a lot of arguments going on about what that was going to be. Parker looked at the sketches in the book.

"... What did I say about the leather though?" she said, frowning. "I don't think I'm going to be able to move in... How high are those heels?"

"Five and half inches, barely anything. And I think you need to at least try it on, yeah? You're going to be pleasantly surprised and then I'll be pleasantly surprised at how generous my bonus is at the end of the tour." Sophie was grinning like she'd just invented fire. Which judging by the amount of reds and oranges on the costume design, she might have.

"Okay, fine, but if I die, I'm going to haunt you."

Sophie helped Parker into her mermaid outfit for the last time a few hours later and started gluing pieces of boat into her hair.

"I'm going to miss these hairboats," Parker said, watching Sophie in the mirror.

"I'm not" Sophie said darkly. "So much solvent and glitter. I think that they're going to name a disease after me when they discover my cause of death is my lungs full of glitter."

"I'm going on a date tonight, after the show," Parker blurted out. It felt so weird to say 'date' out loud. She hadn't had a date in years, probably not since she went out with Roger from her technical studies class in sophomore year of college. They'd almost had a nice dinner until they were waiting for the cheque and he put his hand up her skirt under the table.

She didn't really think that Alec would try something like that and she also didn't think she'd stab him with a fork if he tried it, either.

"... Give me more, darling. My brain is making assumptions faster than I can put the questions together."

"Alec asked me out last night and I said yes by accident. So, we're going out after the show. I don't know where, but... I think I'm excited?"

Sophie glanced up from the sail she was smoothing out. "Alec? You're still sleeping with him?"

"A couple times," Parker said. "He's really nice."

"Nice is not something I'd expect you to go for in a man," Sophie said with a smirk.

Zoe, Sophie's assistant, came back at that moment with the emergency can of hairspray Sophie had sent her for. "Are we talking about boys?" she asked with a sigh. "Because I could use a good vent session."

Parker felt a little guilty all of the sudden for hating Zoe so hard that night she had sex with Eliot. It really wasn't Zoe's fault, Parker knew.

"Yeah?" she said. She'd listen and be supportive now to make up for it. "What's up?"

Zoe looked around, as if asserting they were alone. "Well, you know your friend Eliot?"

"We can push him off the plane!" Sophie cut in. "We could even make it look like an accident."

"Ignore her. All the glitter spray and hairboats make her violent. Yeah, he's kind of a douche, right? I'm really sorry, Zoe."

Zoe sighed and pulled a chair up to Parker's knee, flipping open the makeup case on the counter. "I'm sorry, I know he's your friend. But I kind of --"

"Want to throw him into the airplane engines?" Sophie said, a touch of sweetness in her voice. "Close your eyes."

"Kind of feel like an idiot whenever I see him," Zoe finished. "I can't believe I thought he was..."

Parker snorted. "Don't worry. I did too. Trust me. I've been in your shoes exactly." She opened her eyes when Sophie stopped spraying her with hairspray and smiled awkwardly at Zoe. "You'll be okay though. You get past it."

Zoe looked startled. "You and him...?"

"Just a crush," Parker said quickly. There was enough ridiculous gossip out there about her that she wouldn't willingly put more out, especially nothing that would give Eliot's mother a heart attack if she read it. "But he's more than a little magnetic and a total life ruiner."

That made Zoe laugh a little. "You know he called me 'Carrie' yesterday? Like. How hard is it to remember my name? It's not like he has to buy me dinner or anything, but a tiny bit of respect would be great."

Parker patted Zoe's arm. "As long as he doesn't get you confused for his pet dog, I think you're okay."

Zoe winced. "Yikes."

"Yeah."

"Carrie!" Sophie said, smacking her comb against the back of Parker's chair. "That's the flight attendant. The tall, tall one. I knew I recognized that name."

Parker shot Sophie a look. "Really? You had to bring that up?"

"Oh, so is she the one he's seeing now?" Zoe picked up a palette of eye shadow and surveyed it carefully.

There were rumours flying around the tour pretty regularly, but Parker hadn't heard anything about Eliot 'seeing' anyone. "What?"

"Yeah, apparently that's why he's not sleeping with anything that moves. He's got something special on the hook, some regular thing. I guess it's the flight attendant?"

That didn't bother Parker. It didn't. She wasn't bothered. Except that she was. Why wouldn't he tell her? She was right back to feeling too many feelings for him all at once.

She let Zoe get to work on her eye makeup while she pushed her feelings aside, shoved them down, and thought about her date with Alec instead.

\--

He wouldn't tell her where they were going, just laughing and held her hand. Parker's stomach did that stupid flip-flopping feeling that she had come to associate with Alec's smile every five seconds when he was touching her, which was weird and made her feeling warm and dizzy. But she didn't pull her hand away.

"That skirt looks nice on you," he said. "But are the sunglasses necessary at twenty to twelve at night?"

"Yes," she said with a shrug. "Sorry. Same reason the armed bodyguard is necessary too."

Alec eyed Quinn closely. "Uh, armed?"

Quinn smiled tightly but didn't offer any explanations.

"Oh. Uh. Okay. Let's go inside then," Alec said after a second, holding open the door and letting Parker go in first. The moment he opened the door, Parker heard the music. It was loud and all around her and instantly got under her skin, making her itch to dance. She could feel a reverberating beat in her chest that was either her the music or her heart or both.

"Dancing?" she asked, shouting a little to be heard over the music. It was a lot like the first time they'd met, except instead of Parker's music, it was Spanish music, flamenco music and sexy, sultry guitars. Alec grinned and nodded and she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into the club.

They didn't really know any of the moves, but that didn't matter because they moved well together and the music was non-stop. It was hot and crowded, but they had their own little sliver of space on the dance floor and they made the most of it.

It was a whirl of heat and music and movement and Alec so close to her, and Parker's brain tried to keep up. She was exhausted and so happy. She couldn't stop smiling even if she wanted to, but every time her and Alec's eyes met, he would smile too and she realized she didn't want to stop.

She didn't remember getting back to the hotel or changing out of her skirt but Parker woke up the next morning in her tank top and panties, face down in Alec's bed with one of his arms draped over her back.

Parker groaned a little and lifted his arm off her enough that she could roll over. He barely stirred, ever the heavy sleeper. The sunlight was just starting to come through the window and she could see the tops of some pretty green trees from where she was lying. She knew she should get up and head back to her room, get dressed and start the day.

It was another half hour before Alec woke up, and Parker spent that time not doing anything. It was liberating, being able to spend some of her time doing absolutely nothing, when Nate and everyone else usually kept her schedule so tightly regimented. She had time to just feel. Alec's skin, the hotel sheets, the sunlight coming through the window, everything together washed over her and gave her the most powerful feeling. She owned this moment and no one could take it away. It was peaceful and exhilarating at the same time.

"'Morning," Alec said, his voice still heavy with sleep. He started to shift, limbs moving like thick syrup, like it was taking all his concentrated effort just to move. Finally he lifted his arm off of her and flipped onto his back and then his other hand settled against hers, fingers just brushing her wrist.

"Good morning," she said.

"Did you have fun last night?" he asked. His fingers twitched against her skin like he wanted to take her hand.

"Yeah. I did." She thought for a second. "Thanks for taking me."

Alec yawned and stretched before finally sitting up. "It was my pleasure. But we should get up and get moving before we end up late. Going to Italy today and we have a lot of set up to do."

She nodded and rolled out of bed, landing lightly on the tile floor. "It's going to be a lot of fun with the new theme though."

"Always something new, hmm? What exactly is the theme, this time? I got to memo about keeping the same cues, but switching to all the red lights ever."

Parker thought about the red leather thing Sophie was claiming was her outfit. It was like a cat suit that had gotten caught in a wood chipper/rhinestone application machine. "We're going with fire this time."

Alec nodded appreciatively. "I'll see what I can do about adding some explosions. I'll miss those little shells though."

She laughed and threw one of the pillows from the bed at him. "You mean you'll miss the hairboat."

\--

The fiery-leather-suit-with-rhinestones and the red orange lights actually came together really well that night in Naples. With Alec providing some small scale explosions and sparks shooting and whatnot, it took on a sort of expensive brothel in a fireworks factory vibe that the crowd seemed really impressed with. Parker liked it too and as much as she wanted to hate the outfit, it was pretty easy to move in.

She needed Sophie's help to peel herself out of it after the show, but that was pretty much the worst thing about it.

"You looked fabulous up there," Sophie said. "Really. And I don't just mean the outfit your amazing stylist designed for you. You seemed so fresh and bright."

Sophie was checking all the rhinestones on the top half of the outfit, making sure nothing was loose while Parker stood behind a screen and started sorting through her oversized purse for her street clothes. Sometimes Parker finished a show and had to get dressed into another outrageous outfit to sign autographs or head to an event, but tonight she'd convinced Nate that jeans and a tee shirt would suffice for her stage door exit.

"Thanks, Soph. Can I have a bottle of water?"

Sophie handed one around the edge of the screen and Parker drank half the bottle before pausing for a breath. She used the rest to rinse sweat off her stickiest parts. It was the best she could before she got back to her hotel room for the night.

"Parker, you were amazing tonight," she heard Eliot as he entered the dressing room. Parker heard the distant screaming of fans before the door closed behind him.

"Thanks, bud," she said, reaching for her bra.

"Seriously, Sophie, you outdid yourself on that outfit. And as much as I know you loved that boat thing in your hair, but the feathers are just as cool."

"And with about the same amount of glitter," Sophie sighed.

Parker shrugged into her favourite shirt and a pair of shorts and slipped around the screen.

"Hi," Eliot said, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

"Hi." She patted his arm. "Like the show tonight?"

He picked a stray piece of feather from her hair. "I did. Water Of The Moon was amazing tonight. I didn't realize I loved that song so much until tonight. It's less..." he trailed off, toying with the feather in his hand.

"You can say it, El," she said with a laugh. "Trashy? Shallow?"

Eliot shrugged. "I like that song is all," he said again. "Let's go for a walk, hmm, pretty lady?"

Parker signed thirty or forty autographs and posed for a few pictures with her outrageous smile and peace sign before they could really leave.

"So, talk to me," Eliot said once they were out on the busy city street and walking against the flow of traffic.

"Talk to you?"

"Something's up, I know it is. Is this about the song you've been working on?"

Parker shook her head. "No, the song is awesome. I'm just nailing down the end, I think, and then it's done. I'll play it for you later."

They walked for a while and Eliot snagged a flower out of a planter they walked by and tucked it behind her ear. He stuck a hand in the back pocket of her shorts and she laughed and let her head rest against his arm. It was so easy to be around him, so comfortable.

Parker couldn't put a name to what she was feeling at that moment, something akin to the flip-flop feeling Alec's smile gave her. This was more of an all-body shudder, but pleasantly so.

She was angry suddenly, and confused about the feelings. She was supposed to be getting over Eliot, not falling for him all over again, and Alec was supposed to be stress relief and nothing more. Parker was at a pivotal point in her career, as Nate was always willing to point out, and she didn't have time to get caught up in drama. She wanted to be over and done with it, to rise above it.

"Let's go back. I'm tired."

Eliot gave her a long look before they turned around and headed back towards the hotel.

They traipsed through the lobby and just before the bank of elevators, Parker saw Carrie, the flight attendant, and she remembered what Zoe had said.

The elevator doors opened with a ding and the moment the doors closed behind them, Parker turned to Eliot. "I'm sleeping with someone," she told him.

Three floors later, he said, "yeah?"

"Yeah. So, if I've been acting weird, that's probably why." She didn't know what kind of reaction she expected, but she wanted something. She wanted him to get mad, or threaten to find the guy and punch him, or cry. He just stared straight ahead at the little square numbers lighting up as they passed each floor.

"Glad you're happy," he said finally, as the doors slid open on the ninth floor.

"Yeah," she said.

They didn't say anything while they got ready for bed and Eliot didn't say anything the next morning or when he accompanied her to a short tv segment she was doing for the local news channel.

"Are you excited for the show tomorrow?" Sophie asked on the cab ride back. She was in the backseat with parker and Eliot was staring straight ahead out the front window. Parker was staring holes into the back of his head, but he wasn't turning around.

"Yeah," she said. "Rome."

Sophie looked between Parker and the back of Eliot's head. "Rome is lovely, especially this time of year," Sophie said carefully. "Beautiful, really."

"Awesome, I'll have to take a bunch of pictures."

Sophie pulled out her phone and tapped a few buttons before she turned back to Parker and smiled. Parker started to ask, but then her own cell phone went off.

'Something up with you guys?'

'No, he's just moody,' Parker texted back.

Sophie bit back a laugh and gave Parker a funny look, but she didn't press it.

\--

Rome was absolutely beautiful, Parker decided later, but in a really different way than the way in which Spain was beautiful. When she looked around the city here, she saw constant reminders of people and human history. 

What she wanted was twenty minutes alone without anyone bothering her or talking to her or asking her questions or doing yoga in her goddamn room. She knew she was going to get to a point in the tour where she wanted to light everyone on fire and then run away, but she couldn't.

There were still weeks left on the tour. Eleven more countries and she couldn't remember how many shows. She'd ask Nate next time she saw him.

Sophie and Zoe had woven flowers into Parker's hair for this show in addition to the glitter and the feathers and it was still lighter than the boat. She waited just behind the back curtain at the arena in Rome and listened to the opening act. They were good and loud. Parker liked loud.

Sophie was standing with Nate and they both caught her eye from the other side of the stage and smiled. Sophie gave her a thumbs up.

Parker nodded back with a grudging smile. A show would clear her head, get her out of her funk.

She took the stage in a shower of sparks and a wave of screaming. It felt so good. She slid right into the first song, fitting herself right against the music.

The first three songs passed in the blink of an eye and it seemed like the crowd was getting rowdier. Parker liked that and tried to egg them on. She launched into one of her more popular songs from her second album, Bones In My Teeth, and the crowd went nuts.

She was high kicking and singing her heart out when she caught sight of Eliot standing just offstage, watching her intently with the faintest smile on his face. It was the first time he'd even so much as looked at her since she told him about her sexy extra-curriculars.

Parker froze in the middle of the stage, staring back at Eliot. It took a few seconds before her brain even clicked on and she realized the second verse was about to start and she didn't know the words.

Eliot looked a little startled all of the sudden, so she knew she look panicked. He made shooing hands, telling her to go on. She let her hands fall at her sides, her mind racing over everything it could think of, and finally settling on nothing at all.

The band kept playing, probably because they didn't know what else they were supposed to do, and Parker could feel tears welling up behind her eyes. This had never happened to her before and she didn't know what she was supposed to do.

She scanned the wings, looking for Nate. When everything went wrong at work, Nate was the one she wanted in her corner. He had his radio out, shouting at whoever he was talking to and pointing threateningly at a scurrying stagehand. Nate gave her a thumbs up when she looked over, which was better than him flipping her off, but still didn't help her get back on track. He looked concerned, but only mildly so. Nate could spin anything, overcome any problem. If he wasn't freaking, she had to try not to either.

Her tears were threatening to spill over and Parker was sure the crowd was about to eat her alive.

"Whoa, mama, keep breathing."

Parker had forgotten about the earpiece she was wearing. Nate must have been freaking at someone to get him one so he could talk to her, but the voice in her ear wasn't Nate.

"Hey, hey, focus, you can do this," Alec said. She had no idea where he was in relation to where she was, but obviously he could see her and how hard she was crashing and burning.

"Follow the lights, you know this routine down cold. Get over to your mark and it's almost time for the cute little butt wiggle thing you do. Forget the second verse, it's gone, we're into the bridge now. Get ready for the last chorus and rock it."

Parker started moving towards the spotlight down stage right, trying to breathe and focus and feel the music like she normally did. Eliot and Sophie were standing together, Sophie with one hand clasped to Eliot's shoulder, both looking nervous but both trying to give her encouraging smiles when she glanced over.

"You got this, girl. You got this."

And lo and behold, she did have it. The cymbals crashed at the end of the bridge and she squeezed her eyes shut tight and then she was singing. It was such a relief just to be doing something again that she barely noticed when the song ended.

Alec's voice came over the sound system, claiming technical difficulty and could everyone please hang on for ten minutes while they sorted it out, both in English and very stuttering Italian. Parker all but ran offstage and buried her face in Sophie's neck.

"It's okay," Sophie soothed, rubbing circles on Parker's shoulder. "It's okay, love, you got through it."

"Kill me," Parker said, voice muffled. "Just... augh."

"Hey, you got it back just fine," Eliot was saying. "I doubt a lot of people even noticed." He pulled her off Sophie and pressed a bottle of water into her hands. 

Parker snorted. "Heinous lies," she said, but she felt a little better for him having said it. The water helped her shake off the nerves.

She finished the show without another hitch, ascending up into the rafters after her last encore on the back of a red and yellow mechanical rocket ostrich. Alec met her at the top of the stairs with open arms. She let him hug her and she thanked him in a whisper about a hundred thousand times.

"It's okay, it was nothing. That was all you," he said with that smile that gave her molten butterflies.

Sophie asked her to come out for a drink , but Parker just wanted to go get some sleep. Losing her shit on stage had been mortifying and she knew Nate had been talking to the press and stomping out rumours about drugs and the like. She knew the next morning was going to be a tough one, so she headed back to her hotel room and pulled the sheet over her head.

Eliot came in a minutes behind her. "Parker?" He didn't turn on the light, just slipped into the room and sat on the edge of her bed. "Come on out here and talk to me for a minute, little one."

Parker threw back the sheet. "Yeah? Come to mock me or to throw me to the jackals?" She meant the press, but once she said it, she was kind of hoping for real, live jackals.

"Do they even have jackals in Italy?"

"I don't know, ask Nate in the morning. It's probably in one of his stupid folders." She was being overly melodramatic and she didn't care.

Eliot lay down next to her, getting right in close and pulling her head into the crook of his arm. He didn't say anything, which was nice. He just let her rub her face against his neck like a cat and sigh.

"What happened?" he asked finally. Parker had thought he was sleeping, but apparently he had just been waiting for her guard to be down. Fucking story of their entire relationship, right there.

"You," she mumbled. If her life was going to crash and burn around her, she might as well have it happen all in one night.

"What?"

Parker looked up at him, seeing his concern despite the shadows. "I told you about sleeping with -- about how I'm sleeping with someone and you seemed so... Angry. Upset. Whatever. You haven't said more than three words to me since then, and then I was singing and I looked over and you were smiling at me and you looked okay. And I thought, oh, maybe he's not so mad and we can be friends again and then I wasn't sure about anything anymore because god, Eliot, I'm so fucking in love with you and now you're probably grossed out and hate me and think I'm crazy and..."

It was a few long moments of silence and once again, Parker hoped against hoped that he had fallen asleep.

"You _are_ crazy," he said softly.

Parker felt the stinging behind her eyes for the second time that night. She knew she should be feeling something, but she was so done with feeling. She was just empty inside now. Empty and a little cold.

"God," Eliot breathed. He fumbled with the lamp beside the bed and the light made Parker's eyes sting when it came on. At least she could blame her watery eyes on that now.

"Parker, look --" he started.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, still fighting like hell to keep her voice even. "It's fine. If you want to leave, that's okay too. I'll get Nate to get you a ticket wherever you want."

"Oh my god," Eliot said. He raised his head a little so he could let it drop back against the wooden headboard. "No, Parker, I'm not going anywhere."

He sat up and pulled her along with him until she was half in his lap and half still sprawled on the bed. It wasn't the most comfortable way to have a conversation but there was about one hundred percent weird, upside eye contact, which must have been what he was going for, because then he ran his fingers through her hair and sighed.

"Okay, listen. Yeah, I was a little upset, but not because you're seeing someone. I was just a little shocked you hadn't told me. Time was, we used to tell each other everything, remember?"

"Jane Delaney at the junior prom," Parker said, rolling her eyes. She thought maybe she was smiling in spite of her currently lack of feelings.

He chuckled. "Damn right. I guess I was just... I don't know. I feel like..." he trailed off. Parker was sure he was putting a curse on her in his mind for making him share so many feelings all at once. "I feel like I'm losing you, little one. That's why I came out here, I think. I liked work at the bar, and I love the town, but without you it was all so..."

"Boring?"

"Empty. Empty and cold."

Parker stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what about what he was saying was the punch line, because it was obviously a joke.

"I miss you so much when you're gone, you know," Eliot said, all mournful eyes like a baby deer without a mom. "And I love you. Of course I love you. Do you know anyone around here who doesn't? Fuck. Parker, you're so many things, all the time. The most complicated, difficult, weird ass person I've ever known and there's nothing you can do or say that is going to make me go."

They were quiet for a long time. Parker didn't know how long they stay like that, all weirdly angled on the bed. Long enough for her back to cramp up a little.

"I can't feel my toes," she said.

"I bet if you did more yoga, you could," Eliot said with a little smile.

Parker glared up at him, wiggling her toes and grimacing at the pins and needles feeling. "Still not doing it."

Eliot took his hands from her hair and let her sit up, watching casually as she rubbed the cramp away. She was still unsure about what she was meant to be feeling (besides the pins and needles). He wasn't mad and he wasn't leaving, but she still didn't know where they stood. Parker was about to ask him where they were supposed to go from here, considering her giant outpouring of feelings, but he sighed dramatically and started talking again.

"I'm going through some stuff, I think. I mean, I am. It's stupid and it's my own fault, but I need to deal with that before we do anything else," he said. Eliot looked so serious and introspective that Parker couldn't hold back her smile. She was used to him shaking his head and smiling sadly at her, like she just didn't get it. It was nice to feel like she was being taken seriously.

Nice. That was a feeling that wasn't empty. Parker let her hand brush up against Eliot's leg and the little electric tingle she felt was another feeling she held on to.

"All those months when you were gone were just stupid," Eliot said. He'd noticed her hand, she knew and he knew it, but he didn't move away. "Hearing your voice on the phone was literally one of the only times I actually smiled. I'm more happy following you across the world and carrying your shoes and sleeping on hotel couches than I ever was without you. And fuck, listen to me pouring out my feelings."

Parker smirked because now he knew how it felt.

"If all that stuff isn't love, I don't know what is."

She kept smirking for a few seconds while her brain caught up with his mouth. "Wait, what?"

Eliot sighed heavily. "I want to give this a shot."

"Give... Me? You want to give me a shot? As in, a relationship?"

"Yeah," he said. He was clearly a second behind too, because then he heard her tone and his eyes widen ever so slightly. "I mean, I want to. A relationship. I want that."

Parker wanted to be mad at him, but he slid his hand up against hers and everything felt so right. She wanted to cry all over again, or maybe run around outside barefoot, or pet a unicorn, or something equally expressive. "Okay," she said.

"I probably won't be any good at it," he said, giving her a jagged little smile. "Just ask Jane Delaney. But I want to try."

"You just have to carry my shoes and be my arm candy at parties and red carpets and stuff," she told him. He laughed at that and a lot of the tension faded from the room. He wrapped his arm around her and she fell into him.

When Eliot kissed her, Parker felt like she was falling up. It was the sweetest, simplest kiss, nothing dirty or groping about it, just one of his hands resting lightly on her waist and his lips on hers, dry and tentative, and it still set here completely on fire.

And when he pulled back at her and looked questioningly for confirmation that it had been welcome and okay, at that moment when Parker should have been jumping into his arms and tackling him to bed, she thought of Alec.

"Oh, shit."

"I... What? It wasn't good? I thought it was okay, but that's fine, we can work on it. Practice makes perfect," he said with an obvious forced nonchalance. Even in the midst of her own panic, Parker found his adorable.

"It was good," she reassured him. "Why are you even worried? I thought you were a real ladies' man or whatever."

"... Goddamn it," Eliot said.

"We're thinking the same thing, aren't we?" Parker said, sighing and rolling back on the bed.

"Maybe. Are you thinking you have to get rid of your other... person?" Eliot run his fingers through her hair again, pulling it off her forehead.

She nodded.

"Okay," Eliot said. "So we'll do that and then..."

"Yeah," Parker said with a smile. It wasn't everything she possibly could have imagined, but now that she heard it out loud, it was certainly enough. "And then."


	4. Falling To Fortune

Parker had spent the night mostly awake. Eliot slept like a rock and Parker curled across his chest like a cat, but she couldn't get to sleep. Her mind was spinning with possible futures and visions of baby bunnies and she knew she was going to majorly regret it when Nate showed up to get them onto the plane in a few hours.

She slept most of the way from Rome to Tokyo and threatened anyone who attempted to wake her with bared teeth and a growl.

Parker dreamed too, and in her dream, she, Sophie, and Nate were onstage during a concert. Parker was in her red leather rhinestone getup and a towering hat made of leaves and fruit like something from one of Carmen Miranda's wet dreams.

She was dancing on the stage, trying to balance the hat on her head without it tumbling off while at the same time trying to avoid bumping into Nate or Sophie who kept offering her more fruit for her monolithic hat.

Every time she got close, they would thrust the fruit at her and get her all off balance and confused, and she would push them away and tell them she had enough fruit.

"Do you though?" Nate asked in a creepily hollow voice. He held up an apple.

"Hi!" the apple said cheerily with Eliot's voice. Then it blinked at her with Eliot's eyes. Parker smacked it from Nate's hand in shock and he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "Ow!" the apple said as it rolled across the stage.

Parker turned to Sophie to say 'holy crap, did you see that', or something of those sort and Sophie tossed an orange to her. "I think your hat is missing something, love. How about you try this?"

"No, Sophie, I don't want --"

"Are you sure? I'm a pretty nice orange," said the orange that had Alec's face. Parker screamed and threw it away, just as Sophie disappeared into smoke too. Then she was falling, the weight from the hat finally pulling her down. As Parker struggled out from the twisted wreckage of fruit and ribbon, she saw am empty place on the hat that would have fit an orange or an apple perfectly. It explained why the hat had been so off balance...

Parker woke up with a start and a cough.

"You okay?" Alec asked, looking up from his conversation with Sophie in concern and holding out a bottle. "You want some orange juice or something?"

"Oh god, no!"

He blinked and looked at Sophie for some kind of explanation. "How about apple --"

"Don't say apple juice to me," Parker warned him, still spluttering. "Gin and tonic would be good though."

\--

"I had a prophetic dream," she said, cornering Eliot on his way back from the bathroom.

"Yeah? Are you sure? You remember how well that turned out last time you had a prophetic dream, right?"

Last time, they did not find treasure, as twelve year old Parker was sure they would. They did uncover the pet cemetery belonging to the people who had lived in Eliot's house before his family did, however, and they found a gas line. No one filed charges because they were just kids, but Eliot's parents had to pay a fine and he got his hide tanned for not knowing better.

She smirked at the memory. Other than all the dead cats and not finding any rubies, it had been a pretty great day. "Yes, absolutely. Prophetic."

"Okay, what happened?"

"You were there," she said, not really wanting to relive the horror of the talking fruit. "And I think I know what it means, so it's okay."

"Okay," he said. He glanced around, verifying their amount of privacy and leaned in to press a kiss to the side of her mouth. The whole situation was still new enough to give her chills. "I still need some time to do... the thing. We can do dinner in Seoul. Yeah, that gives us enough time, right?"

Parker gave him a little smirk. "I'm kind of a busy girl, in case you didn't notice. Internationally recognized popstar and all that."

"Yeah, okay, you'll have to fit a breakup into your busy life if you want a piece of this."

She eyed him closely with a frown. "...Yeah, okay. I guess."

"You're pretty awful to me sometimes, you know that?" he said, but he kissed her again so he clearly found her charming.

Once they'd landed, Nate marched everyone through the airport at double time, claiming they were behind schedule. Parker barely got a chance to look at the signs written in Japanese and sometimes-broken English that she'd been so looking forward to.

Outside, the night air was colder than she was expecting and she shivered while they waited for the car. Parker piled into the fancy green limo with Sophie, Zoe, Nate, and Quinn. She turned around to grab Eliot, too, but he was already gone in one of the fleet of cabs Nate had hired for the rest of the crew to take.

She side-eyed Nate and Sophie the whole way to the hotel because she kept expecting them to pelt her with fruit. "You okay, Parker?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah," Parker said. "Just feeling all weird from sleeping on the plane."

"Not too wired, I hope. You need to get a good night of sleep in because there's an afternoon and an evening show tomorrow," Nate said, looking up from his PDA.

Parker shook her head. "No, no, I'll be fine."

He looked concerned for a moment, but nodded. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything."

"I always do."

Sophie was still looking at her sceptically. "Big plans for tonight?"

"It's three in the morning, Soph. I think I'm going to have a bath and then go to sleep. What time is sound check tomorrow?"

"Noon," Nate said. "Quinn has your schedule." It had only been two weeks into the tour when Nate had stopped handing her her own sets of paperwork. Everything went through the bodyguard now.

That meant the crew had to leave earlier, which meant she needed to find Alec before she turned in for the night. He probably wouldn't be pleased about that.

Parker tried to frame the words in her head for how that conversation would go. She wasn't sure what she should say, or if she really needed to say anything. 'Hey, Alec, we can't sleep together anymore,' pretty much covered everything, but she knew it wasn't enough. She had to give him a little more. He'd been so good to her.

 _Fucksticks,_ she thought. She was definitely having feelings about Alec. That was a revelation unto itself.

"You look like you're going to throw up," Nate said, digging through his bag that he refused to call a man purse for a bottle of water and a bottle of pills. "Dramamine. Now."

"Uh, throwing up in limos in foreign countries at three in the morning is pretty safe trashy popstar territory, Nate," Parker reminded him. She took the water and left the pills. "I'm fine. I think you're projecting. How about you take some Dramamine?"

"Hah hah," he said flatly. "You know the tour would fall apart if I slept for eight hours."

"Definitely," Sophie said with an overdramatic eye roll that made Parker giggle. "The whole world might, even."

Nate opened his mouth to say something, but after looking between the helplessly laughing Parker and the deadpan Sophie, he just sighed and went back to his PDA and his anal retentive planning.

One they got to the futuristic looking hotel, Parker kissed Sophie and Nate's cheeks, wishing them goodnight, and headed up to her room with her bodyguard in tow.

The elevator was the slowest thing on the planet and they had twenty one floors to go. Also, elevator music in Japan was _weird_. "Quinn, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, ma'am."

They were alone in the elevator, but she paused carefully for a moment before continuing. "Say you were only allowed to have one kind of juice for the rest of your life. How would you pick?"

His blank expression didn't change which was a pretty clear testament to how much he got paid to deal with her. Or maybe just to how long he'd been dealing with her. "I'm not sure. Why am I only allowed one kind of juice?"

"Because... I'm not sure. Just because. Social convention dictates only one kind of juice for every person." Parker was already taking more away from the conversation than she thought she would.

"The premise is a little shaky, but I'll play along," he told her with only the briefest raise of his eyebrows. "I guess I would just pick one? Or I would refuse to live in a world where society tries to tell me the right way to drink juice."

"And become a secret, off the grid juice rebel?"

"Yes, very underground. Does that help you at all?"

She thought about it. "I don't think so. But I appreciate the effort."

"Any time then," he said.

Parker texted Nate about giving Quinn a raise. He replied promptly with _'lol no, did you know he makes more than Sophie.'_

"I have to go do something before bed," she told Quinn. "Do you mind waiting?"

He shook his head. He never had a problem with what she needed to do. How considerate.

"Awesome."

Eliot was standing on the other side of the elevator doors when they slid open.

"Hey," she said quickly. "I'm going to go do a thing. Order us some food or something and we can watch a movie."

"I did my thing already," he said in a rush. "It kind of sucked, but it's over."

Parker nodded and handed him the room key card. "I kind of figured it would be. Wish me luck?"

He ruffled her hair. "Good luck, little one."

"Excuse me," Quinn said, once Eliot was out of earshot. "I might be out of line, but the juice was a metaphor, right?"

Parker frowned in thought. "Maybe. It might have been an analogy. I never paid a lot of attention in English class."

He nodded once. "Well. All right then."

Parker knocked on Alec's door and her heart was vibrating in her chest while she waited for him to answer. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked. "Come on in."

He was as quiet as she was once they were alone. He leaned against the desk and waited for her to make the first move.

Parker looked at him and opened her mouth the start the 'it's not you, it's me' conversation, but she couldn't get the words out. "Look," she said, but then stopped. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

Alec stepped up to her and brushed hair off her forehead. "So then, we don't have to say anything." She could smell his skin, that smoky, warm smell that made her think of the sunset on the roof in Barcelona. She wanted to roll herself up in that smell and that memory like a blanket and stay there. His hands were warm on her hips, holding her just an inch or two from his body. She could feel his heat through her clothes and against all logic, it gave her goosebumps.

Parker forced her mind back to Eliot, to the way he carded his fingers through her hair and the way he said 'little one,' and as much as she knew she wanted him and how Alec was the complete opposite in about a thousand ways, she couldn't bring herself to tell Alec to take a hike and flee from the room to avoid his tears (because he was obviously going to cry).

She let her head fall forward against his shoulder, just taking in the moment and trying to get her thoughts in some semblance of order so she could figure out what to do next.

"We can't do this anymore," she said at last. "I'm in love with Eliot."

Alec was quiet for a long time and he didn't pull away from her. She thought it was stupid that he didn't and she was eternally grateful because his hand felt reassuring against her back and it was the only thing keeping her from tears.

"You've been in love with him since long before you ever met me or got famous or anything though," he said quietly. "Why's it changed now?"

She pressed her lips to his tee shirt, mouthing a little at his collarbone through the fabric. 

"I think he loves me back. I have to... I don't know. Try."

He nodded slowly and finally let her go. "Okay," he said. Then, a little stronger, "okay. Okay. Good luck," he said. He tried a little smile that was maybe supposed to be genuine, but Parker thought it looked mocking. 

"Good night," she said.

"You don't have the feel guilty," he said. He still had that wry smile that made her guts twist up painfully. Apparently no matter what his smile, he made her stomach feel something stupid. "I mean, we said no strings, right?"

"Yeah," she said. Her voice echoed hollowly in her ears. She had said no strings, but the strings had definitely shown up anyway. They tied her limbs together, made it hard to move.

"Good night," she said again.

"Good night," he said, and he smiled again, and this time Parker thought he was just grateful for her to leave.

Despite Nate's instructions, she didn't sleep well that night.

\--

"You okay?" Eliot asked the next morning. She'd made him sleep on the pull out couch in the other room of her enormous suite, despite the extra large bed and he looked a little ruffled by it.

"Yes," she said. "And I wish people would stop asking me that."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. "I'm going to go swim some laps. You want to come with me?"

"No. Thanks. I'm going to do my hair, I think."

Eliot gave her a funny look, like that was somehow the weirdest thing she'd ever told him. "Okay. Have fun."

He left and after a few more minutes of lounging in the giant bed, she rolled out and phoned Sophie to come and meet her.

"I figure if I'm having a life crisis, my hair better show it," she explained. She didn't get into the details of the crisis because Sophie preferred all her gossip in person.

The knock on the door came way before Parker expected it.

"Sophie, I was thinking -- oh."

"Good morning, Miss Parker," Quinn said.

"Is everything okay?" He didn't often have reason to interrupt her, but when he did, it usually meant an emergency. She was already slipping on her shoes.

"Of course," he said. "I saw Mister Spencer leaving and I thought you could use breakfast." He handed her a bottle.

"Juice?" she said with a laugh. "How do you know it's the right kind?"

He shrugged. "You never do. Not until you've tried it."

She took that as her cue to take a drink and was pleasantly surprised. "What is it? It's good. Is it. Oh god, is this juice a metaphor thing too?" The thought of dealing with feelings for three men at once was slightly nauseating. She couldn't deal with her feelings for juice most of the time.

"Oh, no, I would never -- I respect you too much too -- No, ma'am," he said, blushing a shade of red she'd only seen before when it was covered in rhinestones and form-fitting to her own ass. "It's just juice. Pear and mango."

"Oh. _Oh!_ I get it. I... don't really know exactly what you're implying, except that maybe you shouldn't be implying it, but I think I get it." She took another sip of the juice. "It's really good, though."

"Sound check is at twelve," he said, staring at his feet. "We need to leave in exactly one hundred and twenty six minutes to get there in time."

"I'll set a clock," she said with a smile. "And thank you, Quinn."

"Ma'am," he said.

Sophie showed up a few minutes later, barging in without a knock. "Spill. Everything. Now. And what are we doing to your hair?"

"Colour," Parker said. It was the only thing she was actually sure about. "I think Quinn just put forth his official endorsement of my tentative polyamorous relationship."

"Uh huh. Did he hand you a certificate? Like, colour streaks?" She pointed Parker into the chair by the door and heaved her heavy rolling kit of hair supplies up onto the desk next to it.

"No, a bottle of juice. I was thinking brunette."

"I refuse," Sophie said, shaking her head resolutely. "Blondes have more fun."

Parker sighed dramatically. "I think I'm over fun," she said.

"And I don't understand what juice has to do with it, but I guess we're just appreciating his contribution?"

"Yes. How about red?"

"Cherry red, fire engine red, or carrot red?"

"Carrots are orange," Parker said, snorting. "How about something between cherries and the red colour of Spanish sunsets?"

It was Sophie's turn to snort. "Because that's not a ridiculously arbitrary, quite possibly imaginary shade. Also, it's going to clash with your costume and we don't have time to make you a new one before your show at three." Even as she was complaining, Sophie flipped open her hair kit and starting comparing bottles of dye.

"I think it's ridiculously arbitrary that you carry that all around with you," Parker said. She was definitely a little in love with Sophie's hair and makeup kits. So many pretty things for her.

"We could do like, a dark red brown auburn sort of colour, maybe," Sophie said, holding up the bottles to the light. "And so what kind of polyamorous thing have you gotten yourself into and do I need to have a stern talk with anyone?"

Parker was going through the clips and decorations in the top compartment of Sophie's kit. "Is this the mainsail from the hairboat? Can I keep this?" It would fit perfect next to her false moustache in her travel trunk.

Sophie nodded. "Yes, now answer the question." She started combing out Parker's hair and twisting off sections, forcing Parker to sit still.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm technically in any relationship right now. Sort of an in between period. I think it was his official hypothetical endorsement."

"Oh, well then. Lovely."

"Okay, so I love Eliot, right?" It was getting easier and easier for her to say out loud when Eliot wasn't around.

"Right, I think I dimly recall something to that effect," Sophie said dryly.

Parker rolled her eyes to herself, because Sophie had her hair in a vice grip and turning around to show Sophie her annoyance would have hurt a lot. "Augh, you. Right, so then I was sleeping with Alec because Eliot was being.... stubborn."

"You're stubborn, dear. He was being unbearable."

"Okay, sure, yeah. Maybe a little. Except now he's not and he's being adorable and vulnerable in a not at all vulnerable way and all... Eliotish."

Sophie laughed. Parker could hear the telltale sound of hair dye getting mixed up. "And that's a good thing? I mean, I don't see it at all."

"I know, but it's a very good thing," Parker said. "I happen to like Eliotish."

"So, where's the 'but'?"

"That's what I thought!" Parker said, leaning back into the chair heavily. "The 'but' is Alec."

Sophie somehow found enough class and grace not to giggle at that. "Oh?"

"I kind of think I love him too?"

She was quiet for a long time, combing the dye through Parker's hair with her hands. She squirmed a little under the cold hair dye, but it wasn't so bad after the first few seconds.

"Is it just a crush? Is it because he has a fabulous cock?" Sophie asked.

Parker laughed. "No. I mean, he does. He's got a lot of fabulous things. But he's completely different than Eliot."

"What's wrong with that? I mean, it's not unreasonable to love two different things, is it? Spring and summer, rum and coke and gin and tonic, unicorns and horses..."

"You know I hate horses."

"Okay, unicorns and... I don't know what else. Ogres."

Parker turned around to give Sophie a 'what are you on right now' look. "Ogres? Who loves ogres?"

"I don't know! That Shrek movie! Kids love that movie. Nate loves that movie."

"I was thinking it's like apple juice and orange juice," Parker said.

Sophie nodded. "Yes, okay. I see the point and I'll allow it."

"Allow the point or allow my polyamorous juice relationship?"

"Either? Both. As long as you promise you're happy. Now that should be ready to rinse in about twenty minutes," Sophie said, slipping off her gloves and dropping them in the closest trash can. "And you know that Nate is going to actually have kittens, right?"

"Why would he care, as long as I'm happy?"

"Oh, honey, I'm not even going to get into that right now. I meant your hair."

"Oh. Right. I forgot."

\--

Nate didn't have kittens, which would have been briefly disgusting, and then adorable and fuzzy. Instead, he had a bit of a scream and then just looked at her very carefully. "I think it looks lovely. I also think something you're trying to kill me. Get out there for sound check. Sophie, can we chat?"

Sophie gave Parker a shrug, a sort of 'oh well, what can I do?' gesture, and followed Nate back into the dressing room. Parker got compliments left and right about her hair from her crew and posed for a few pictures with the stadium staff. She came away with a huge grin and knowing about six words of Japanese.

All of that disappeared when she got to the stage and Alec was waiting. He hooked up her microphone and checked the levels with a polite, but distanced attitude.

"Alec, wait," she said, covered the microphone with her hand. "Can you just -- stop?"

"Sorry," he said, looking at his hands. "I know we said no strings. Turns out I'm not good at no strings. This week has been pretty clear about that. I'll let you know when to start." He fled the stage and Parker was left to feel like an asshole amid the bustle of the setup.

"And your hair looks really nice," Alec mumbled through the ear piece. She couldn't see him, but she couldn't ignore the possibility that he could still see her. She hide her smile in her hand.

Her afternoon concert went off without a hitch and she didn't even feel tired from it. Something about her conversation with Sophie and her kickass new hair gave her wings and she was flying high.

"Hi," she said, all but jumping into Eliot's arms when she found him in her dressing room. "Where have you been all day? Did you see the show? I was awesome."

He was chuckling when he set her down and Sophie and Zoe swarmed around her to get her touched up and remade for the next show. Not enough time to undress and shower, which is exactly what she wanted at that moment, but by the time they got it all off, they'd be twenty minutes late for starting to put it all back. Nate's schedule had been very clear.

"I went out to get you something," he said. "I'm pretty sure there's a price on my head because I may have pissed off the Yakuza, but I got you something."

Parker could feel the combined stares of Sophie and Zoe on her, and she ignored them both. "Oh?"

"Yeah," he said. He handed her the little folded paper box. "It's nothing much. Just made me think of you."

"Thanks," Parker said, already marvelling at the gift before she had even opened it. When she did, she let out a little excited squeak. "It's so pretty."

"Yeah," Eliot said again. "Glad you like it."

Parker lifted the pendant from the box and held it up to get a better look. Probably in spite of herself, Sophie cooed. It was a little folded paper crane, about as big as the tip of her finger, made from shiny purple paper and hanging from a long silver chain.

"I love it. Thank you," Parker said. Her heart was pounding and she didn't know why. Feelings, obviously, but she wasn't sure what they were.

"What's the other thing?" Zoe asked, nodding to Eliot's hand in the pocket of his jacket.

"What?" he said. He looked a little startled, which was weird in and of itself. "Nothing."

Parker perked up curiously. "More shiny things for me?"

"No, nothing. I bought some creepy Japanese porn," he said. Parker knew it was a clear lie, but Zoe must have bought it because she sighed disgustedly and turned back to Parker's makeup.

Eliot changed the subject. "Your hair is really different. I mean, I like it," he said quickly. "But it's really different."

She eyed him closely for a second while he looked guilty before she let him off the hook. "Thanks," she smiled.

"Do you want to grab a drink and some air when they're done? Just water. I know you go on again soon."

She nodded. "Sounds good. You're going to watch the show this time?"

"Yeah, looking forward to it."

"Cool."

"Cool."

Eliot left, citing a quick errand to run before they hung out, and Parker counted down the seconds until Sophie had something she had to say.

"Oh my god," Sophie burst out. Two and a half seconds. New best record. "I wasn't sure what you meant this morning, but my oh my. That boy _is_ in love with you."

"Shut up, Sophie," Parker said happily.

Sophie was repining the feathers in Parker's hair, adding a few yellow ones in with the red while Zoe was touching up her eye shadow.

"You seem really... happy," Zoe said. Parker wasn't sure how to identify the tone there, if she was mad or what. She couldn't be too mad, since Parker was the only reason she had a job, but it probably hurt a little to see them together.

"I am," Parker said, because she couldn't very well lie about it even if she wanted to. She needed to say something else though. "I..."

"Oh please, it's okay. Don't say anything else. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Parker gave Zoe a hug and Zoe laughed, even if she didn't sound completely enthused.

"You know I'm buying everyone spectacular presents when we get home again for sticking it out on the tour," Parker said in an attempt to disarm some of the tension in the dressing room. "I'm going to start making a list."

"I'd like a Lexus," Zoe said with a smirk.

"Oooh, me too," Sophie said.

Parker knew she wasn't going to be buying anyone a Lexus, but it still felt good to joke about it.

Eliot met her outside the dressing room door when she was done. "If you so much as jostle one of those fake eyelashes, I will not be impressed," Sophie warned them. "Now go, get some air." She said it like it was a conspiracy.

"So," Parker said carefully as they climbed to the roof after paying off a stadium caretaker to point them in the direction of a quiet set of stairs. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Eliot held the door to the roof open for her."What's up, little one?"

She took a deep breath. "I might be confused about my sexuality."

He burst out laughing. "So, all the tabloids are true? Really, Parker, after all this time and all the feelings and you're a lesbian?"

She punched him in the arm (it was like punching a rock) and stamped her foot in frustration. She rocked a little in her stilettos and grabbed his arm to steady herself (it was like grabbing onto a rock). "Okay, firstly, it wouldn't be a big deal if I was a lesbian, regardless of what the tabloids say."

"I know that, I'm just saying it would give me a pretty bad complex if you were to tell me you love me and then the very next day turn around and decide to swear off men. Seriously, I might not be able to cope." He was smiling, so it was a joke, but there was something on the edges of that smile, some kind of tight, worried anxiousness. 

"I'm sure your ego could take it," she said. "And secondly, do you think I'd be so awful as to choose this as a way to come out to you if I was a lesbian? It's windy up here, give me your coat."

He did, without hesitation. Parker wrapped it around herself carefully, holding the sleeve up to her face without disturbing her fake eyelashes and breathing in the Eliot smell. It was nothing like the Alec smell, yet it still gave her a little thrill and a wash of warm memories. It was the weird little boost she needed for the conversation at hand.

"I'm not a lesbian, El. And I am in love with you. I just also might be in love with someone else."

"... Right," Eliot said, staring blankly at her. "And that means what exactly? Because I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with that information."

Not exactly the spectacular response she had been imagining optimistically, but not Eliot throwing himself off the roof either, so it wasn't all bad.

"I don't know," she told him, because she really didn't. "I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with that information. See, because I am just coming to this revelation myself. It's not something I was keeping secret on purpose."

"Okay," Eliot said with a sigh. "So, do you have some soul searching or something to do?"

"Yeah, I guess. But like. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not," he assured her, holding out his arms. "C'mere."

She hugged him fiercely and wondered what she was going to do. She didn't want to think about, wanted to just keep hugging him because that, at least, was straight forward.

"Tonight. Do you want to go out after the show?" she asked. "Like, karaoke or something?"

Eliot laughed and looked down at her in his arms. "You're not going to be tired of singing?"

"Never! And you can't go to Japan and not got to karaoke."

He kissed her hair, avoiding any of the hair pins or feathers. "Okay, let's do it. Just you and me, or is this a group thing?"

"Well, Quinn has to come. We could invite Alec, too, he's fun right?" It was a long shot, and she knew it. But if Alec agreed to come with them, maybe that meant he was willing to be friends and then she could see how they interacted and if they could even handle being in the same room with each other. Then maybe should could ahead with her plan to come up with a plan about what to do.

Eliot sighed. "Yeah, that sounds... fine."

Again, it wasn't the enthusiastic response she wanted, but it was better than nothing. "Okay," she said. "I'll mention it to him when I go down for the second sound check. Now, tell me what you did to piss of the Japanese mob."

\--

Alec was quiet when Parker asked him to join them that night. "You sure?" he asked finally. "That wouldn't be weird?"

Parker glanced around the stage, but the only person was paying them any attention was Quinn because that's what they paid him to do. He pointed to Parker with the bottle in his hand and gave her a thumbs up, which made her think that there was juice in the bottle (or rum, but that seemed unprofessional).

"Oh, goddamn, I broke my microphone. Damn, and the only spare one is up in the booth. We should go get it," she said, just loud enough that anyone who overheard wouldn't think she was putting on a show.

Alec stared at her looking highly unimpressed.

"Don't worry, your microphone is fine," she said in a whisper. "I'm lying to get you alone."

However unimpressed he might have been, he followed her up to the sound booth above the stadium. It was nine flights of stairs and Parker and her stiletto shoes were regretting the whole idea after two flights. When they entered the booth, a handful of people looked up from a bank of switchboards and computers and Parker was a shocked.

"Holy crap. Complicated much?"

Alec shrugged. "Yep." Then he said something in Japanese that shocked Parker a little more.

"You speak Japanese?"

"Enough to get by. What's up, Parker?"

She was wearing enough strategically placed leather to make one very skimpy bikini, if you tried hard, with enough rhinestones and sequins to decorate a regular sized elephant and her heels were basically sharpened into points. What did she really have to be afraid or ashamed of at this point?

"I think I'm in love with you," she said, with a 'eh, what can you do?' shrug.

He stared. She smiled.

"Tah-dah," she added, because he was still kind of staring at her.

"Me?" he said finally. "Not Eliot?"

"Well, see here's the thing. Both of you. I'm not sure how it works or anything though. Still working on it. Also, he doesn't know about you. I mean, he knows about the idea of you. Just not that you are you. Does that make sense?"

Alec nodded. "Knows there's someone else, doesn't know who exactly."

"Right."

He looked uncomfortable while he took a few seconds to think. Something in the room beeped and Parker looked around to try and find the source of the noise. Alec had something in his hand and clicked a few buttons. The thing trilled a little musical note and then was quiet. He looked up at her with a little shrug. "Tamagotchi," he said, sounding apologetic.

He jammed the thing back in his pocket and straightened up. "So, you think the three of us hanging out is a good idea?"

"It's a step in the plan," she said. He looked stumped, but she didn't offer up any more information regarding said plan. Mostly because she still didn't have any.

"Okay, there's something you should know too," he said. He pulled out a chair and sat down, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I maybe love you too."

"Maybe?"

He shrugged. "Hey, you said 'you think', but I can't say 'maybe'?"

Parker sighed at him in a huff. "I guess it's fair, I just don't think it's right."

He laughed, then paused and looked at her, but started laughing again almost immediately. "God. Okay, I love you. It's hard not to. If I'm being honest, maybe I loved you since I heard One Million Dollar Kisses on the radio for the first time. I can't help it. You're weirdly down to earth for someone as famous as you. And you make my stomach do this weird twisting, butterflies thing every time you smile at me."

It was her turn to stare at him for a few seconds. "Yeah?"

He looked a little uncertain, but he smiled hopefully.

She kissed him then, bending to reach him in the chair. It was a regular kiss, not a million dollar one, but it was perfect nonetheless.

"Gotta go," she said, grinning impishly at him. "Thanks for fixing my microphone. See you after?"

"Yeah," he said. He looked a little shell shocked as Parker left, but in the good way. She clattered down the nine flights of stairs back to the stage, and she felt good doing it.

\--

She should be tired, she knew she should be, but as Sophie helped take her hair down, she was buzzing in the chair.

"What's got you so worked up?" Sophie asked, pulling a brush through Parker's hair to work some of the hairspray out of it.

"Just excited. Going to karaoke tonight." Parker grinned at Sophie in the mirror.

Sophie shook her head and kept working at her hair. "Okay, as long as our star is happy."

"Well, I am. Unusually happy. You should tell Nate to check me for drugs. I'm kidding. I don't like drugs, they make my brain all spinning and bubbles. I imagine they would, anyway. I've never tried them. But I've seen a lot of after school specials. Am I babbling?"

"Yes," Sophie and Zoe said in unison.

"Sorry," Parker said. And then, because she was finding it physically impossible to keep from babbling. "I'm going to find out what happens when you mix two kinds of juice together tonight."

Sophie choked on her laugh and dropped the hairbrush she was holding as she doubled over. It bounced off Parker's head and her head before it hit the floor. "Ow!"

"Oh my god," Sophie gasped between bursts of laughter. "I cannot. I cannot."

"Can't what?" Zoe asked, not impressed she was being left out.

"Cannot!" Sophie repeated.

Parker rubbed at the back of her, but managed a smile. "You're finding this way too funny, Soph."

"You're not finding it funny enough," Sophie countered, grabbing the brush and standing again. She wiped away the tears from her face and gave Parker's hair another few cursory brush strokes. "Okay, okay, you're free. Have fun and be careful," she warned.

Parker jumped up and kissed her cheek before grabbing Eliot's jacket from where she'd thrown it earlier and running out the door.

\--

Parker was bouncing on her feet, glad to be out of the high heels and back in the cute little flats she'd picked up in Venice Beach the previous spring. "Are we there yet?" she asked Quinn as they walked towards the secret back door of the stadium that they were leaving by. The guys were going to meet them with the green limo and it was going to be the best, least awkward night ever.

"Are we there yet now?" She spun a circle around him and ended with a little hopping jump. It was terribly impressive, but he remained impassive.

"How about now?" After two solid minutes of no response to her pestering, she conceded and walked like she wasn't overflowing with nervous energy. She jammed her hands on the coat pockets and some sharp and plastic stabbed her in the hand.

"Ouch, dammit. Why doesn't the world want me to use this hand?" She pulled the offending plastic from the pocket so she could get rid of it before she hurt herself again. When she saw what it was, she stopped in the middle of the hall.

"Parker? Ma'am?"

"I can't read Japanese, but what do these pictures look like to you?" she asked Quinn, pushing the package into his hands.

"Um. Isn't one of those little computer pet things that all the kids had back in the 90s?"

"A Tamagotchi. Exactly. And the package is _empty_." Parker threw it in the next trash can they walked by.

"Are we on the case of the missing Tamagotchi, then?" Quinn asked.

"Negative," she said with a smile that could only be called 'fucking triumphant.' "I know exactly where it is and I'm going to make Eliot get it for me."

\--

The car met her at the door and she only had to sign a few autographs before Quinn stuck her in the backseat and they were driving. The guys were sort of tense, but she had expected that. They talked about the show and both complimented her new hair again, but overall it was quiet.

Despite the initial tension, she beamed the entire way to the karaoke bar the driver picked for them. When Alec asked why she was so happy looking, she almost broke down and told them, but instead she resisted the urge. She had come up with another step to her plan and it involved playing everything like a sneaky-snake until she could confirm the secrets the missing Tamagotchi had told her.

While Alec negotiated some drinks for them, Parker dragged Eliot to a booth and got comfortable. "I'm glad we could do this. I like that we can all spend time together."

Eliot nodded. He had looked a little tense on the ride over, but it seemed the like noise and the crowd and just the whole feel of being in bar again had relaxed him a little. There was even a live three piece band that played the music to accompany the singers.

"Yeah, me too. Are you going to sing tonight?"

She laughed. "Maybe. Only if you sing first."

"Whoa, no, not me," Alec said, setting three frilly looking drinks on the table. Eliot gave him a look and he shrugged. "My Japanese isn't great; just be glad I got us booze. Oh, shit, you want something, man?" Quinn waved him off and took the seat on the other side of the booth to give them privacy while at the same time sending a pretty clear message to anyone who got too close.

"So, you and Eliot are going to sing?" Alec asked once he'd sat down. "You any good?"

Eliot shrugged. "Not really."

"That's a lie," Parker smirked. "He's fantastic."

It actually took three of the fruity drinks and half of one of Parker's to convince Eliot to get up and sing them something. Parker collected the umbrellas and stuck them in her hair.

"What are you going to sing?" Alec asked, polishing off his third drink of the evening and unable to hold back laughter whenever he looked over at Parker. "You look like an alien," he told her.

"I'm not tellin'," Eliot said. "Just never you mind."

"He's nice," Alec said, as Eliot walked towards the stage with just the hint of a swagger. "I'm happy for you guys." He was still chuckling, but he seemed sincere.

"Thanks," Parker said. She slid over a little on the bench, brushing her hand against his leg under the table.

"Hey now," he breathed. "Quit that."

Eliot climbed up to the stage and from the looks of it, was arguing with the band. Finally, the guy handed over his guitar and gave Eliot a little bow which could have been real or mocking, and Eliot took centre stage under the lights.

There was a bit of a hush that there hadn't been for the previous singers. Everyone wanted to know what the crazy tourist with the guitar was going to do. He looked over to where Parker and Alec were sitting and gave them a little nod before starting. He played a few mindless bars before starting the song.

Parker's heart stopped in her chest when she recognized it. It was 'Falling To Fortune', her very first single and one of her most favourite songs she had ever written. It wasn't one the crowds usually loved, and it only ever got put on the set lists if they had a really long time slot to fill. She still loved it a lot though.

It was the song that she'd written about getting the chance to write more songs. It was her 'okay, now I have what I want but I didn't really get a say, where do I go from here' song, and it meant more to her than any of the others. And she'd never told anyone that, not even Eliot.

Eliot had slowed it down a lot and put a bit of a soulful little country spin on it. Definitely not a way Parker had ever imagined her song, but she was hearing it and then Alec bumped her shoulder with his.

"Here," he said, offering her his sleeve. "You're crying."

She wiped her eyes on his sleeve regardless of the fact that she totally wasn't crying. When she looked around, she could tell there were other people in the bar singing along, which was cool, but then Eliot got to the chorus and she couldn't tear her eyes off of him.

"He's really good," Alec whispered. "God, he's really good. Not better than you, but good."

Parker patted his arm because it was the first thing she touched when she reached out. Everything about Eliot was demanding her attention. The lights made his hair glow and the way he held the guitar was exactly the way she want him to hold her. Not even all the godawful neon decoration in the bar was throwing her off.

"I love him," she whispered, pulling her eyes away from him finally and pressing her face into Alec's arm.

He ran his hand down her back. "I know. And I don't blame you."

Parker pulled back and looked up at him. "Why not? Because people can't help who they love or because you know firsthand what he's like when you're not in a crowd and you have time to just be near him?"

Alec stared at her. "Umm."

"And because you guys have been sleeping together for a while and then he broke up with you but you're still kind of into him and he bought you that Tamagotchi?"

Despite the umbrellas still in her hair, he wasn't laughing. "So... he told you."

"Nope, it never came up. But remember earlier when you said 'oh, I have something to tell you'? That would have been important to mention. Now shh," she shushed him, turning back to the stage. Eliot was getting to the bridge of the song, and playing it like it was his job.

Parker knew then that her plan had to work. It just had to. With Eliot singing her song, pouring his heart into it the same way she always did, and Alec's arm sliding around her waist like it was specifically designed for that purpose... She wouldn't be able to function if this plan didn't work.

Eliot finished onstage and she had tears in her eyes again.

"There, now it's your turn," he said, a little breathless and positively beaming.

"We're leaving," Parker said, fishing the umbrella from the last of her drink and tucking it behind her ear.

"What? Why? What's up?"

Alec stood and grabbed his coat, looking to make a fast exit. "I'll get out of your hair. I guess you have shit to talk about."

Eliot looked back and forth between them, his smile gone entirely. "What. Is going. On?"

"She knows. All of it, even the part about the Tamagotchi."

"Parker, hang on," Eliot said quickly. He turned back to Alec. "Why did you tell her? What the hell is --"

"I didn't tell her anything, man, she just knew."

"No, no, you're coming too," Parker said. "We have talking to do."

"Everything okay over here?" Quinn unfolded himself from the next booth and was suddenly looming.

She watched Alec and Eliot trade a guilty, horrified look. There was one more step to her plan, but to tell them now would ruin eighty-six percent of the fun in it. "Everything is great. Let's go," she said.

\--

Quinn gave her a secret, down low high five when he saw them to the door of her hotel room. "I'll see you at oh-nine-thirty tomorrow, Miss Parker. Call if you need anything at all," he said, unlocking her door and taking a quick look inside before he held the door for them. "Good luck," he added in a whisper.

Once they were in the room, Eliot and Alec started to shift out of their coats and shoes while Parker turned on the bedside light. "Were you ever planning on tell me about this?" she asked. She settled on the bed, toeing her shoes off and letting them drop to the floor.

Neither one of them spoke right away, standing stock still at the end of the bed, watching her and each other.

"Look," Alec said finally. "I know I should have said something. Especially when you told me," he said. He was picking at the edge of the sheet, carefully focusing on his hands until he just couldn't resist any more and he glanced at Eliot. "Or when you told me."

Eliot snorted. "Yeah. Would have been nice."

"Hey," Parker said, trying to put a little warning in her voice. "You never told me anything either." 

The last thing they needed was a fight. Her heart couldn't take the possibility that they could hate each other. It felt like she needed this to work as much as she needed air. She waited on edge, barely breathing, just waiting for someone to say something that would mean that this could work.

"It's just that you were both so adamant that there be 'no strings attached'," Alec went on. Parker felt a little guilty about the way he said it. 

"Not an ideal set up," she admitted. They both nodded.

Time for a gamble. "You know what maybe is an ideal set up..."

Alec caught on before Eliot. "Are you... Really?"

"Not just tonight," Parker said quickly. "But like. Strings attached."

Alec chuckled. "Yeah? What kind of strings?"

"Strings made of feelings. Strings where I want to meet your parents. Strings of sitting through an awkward Christmas dinner with Eliot's racist dad."

That helped to clue Eliot in. "That's crazy," he said.

"Not really," Parker said. "I'm an international household name, El. You sold your bar to join me on an across the world concert tour and had a gay relationship. Pretty much everything that we used think was normal is ruined now."

"Oh come on, it was hardly a relationship," Eliot said with a scoff.

Alec did too. "He had a tear in his eye when he broke up with me, you know."

"Because I was so happy to be done with you, god."

Alec didn't respond to that. "You're thinking a long term polyamorous relationship is the answer to our problems."

"All of our problems. The answer to problems we haven't even come up against yet. And definitely the answer to the question 'what are we going to be doing for the rest of the night'."

"Are you going to dump us when you get bored?"

Parker shook her head. "I know it seems like I get bored easy, but I've had Eliot around for what, sixteen years?"

Eliot rolled his eyes. "And what about when Nate and everyone else find out?"

"Quinn and Sophie already do know and they both gave me their blessing. And Nate will be mad and yell and everything else, and then he'll just be grumpy I didn't tell him in advance so he could prepare a statement, and then he'll be secretly happy that I'm such a weirdo who keeps herself in the press. And that I'm happy, I guess. That makes him happy too."

"Yeah, and the tabloids? They're going to have a field day," Eliot said.

"The tabloids also say I have a dick and sometimes chat with Satan. I think I don't care what they say about the guys I fall in love with. What about your family, El?"

"Mom won't care. She's been hoping that you and I get married since you started middle school."

"And the addition of a good looking black man won't bug your racist dad?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your family won't care you're dating a pair of crazy white kids?" Eliot shot back, a fair counter point.

"We'll take all family holidays very slowly, I promise," Parker said, raising her hands in a quest for peace. Her heart was beating again after what felt like entire minutes of stillness in her chest. They were bickering, yeah, but no one was throwing punches or swear words around.

She tried another, more direct route. "And you do know that 'let's go back to the hotel and talk' was kind of my code for 'we can talk after the tour is over because everything is so crazy now, so let's go back to the hotel and have sex in the giant bed.' So, can we do that?"

Eliot and Alec regarded each other very closely for a moment. Parker was worried for a moment that it was not going to work out, but then Alec broke into a grin.

"Yeah, I think it's something that could work. We could try."

"Yeah," Eliot agreed finally. "We can try that."

They stripped out of their clothes lighting fast and Parker barely had time to register it before they were on the bed with her, both grabbing at clothes and then there were hands on her skin and -- oh.

_Oh._

She was on her side, sprawled across the luxurious silk sheets. Eliot was behind her, pressed right against her and the feeling of finally, having him against her, _naked_ , was almost enough. His mouth was sucking at the soft junction of her neck and her shoulder and every so often he made a little noise or whispered her name. He had one arm around her, his fingers brushing across her breast or Alec's chest.

"Fuck," she said because other than curse words and Eliot's name, she couldn't think of anything else to say. His dick was hard, pressed against her ass and thigh, but instead of anything else he could be doing with it, he was just holding her and kissing at her skin. Evidently, he subscribed to Alec's method of taking things slow.

Alec. Where did he get to? She was sure he had been right there... Parker opened her eyes and there he was, almost nose to nose with her. He was smiling and her stomach did that same, familiar flip-flop that it always did. 

"Hi," she said, a little impressed with herself that she had remember that word, too.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Are we taking it slow?" she asked. Everything was soft and warm, including the fuzz wrapped up around her brain.

"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "Do you want me to speed things up a little for you?"

As soon as he asked it, Eliot made a little murmur against her skin and pressed his erection against her a little more firmly.

"Yes," she said, a touch too enthusiastically. The loudness of her voice startled her in the quiet of the room and she jumped. Eliot's mouth came off her skin with a wet noise.

"Yeah," Eliot said, echoing. Maybe Alec was the only one who liked slow.

"Help," Alec said to Eliot. "And you stay right there," he added after, to Parker. He batted one of the paper umbrellas off the bed before he pushed Parker over onto her back. Eliot scrambled out of the way.

"Follow my lead," Alec said as he crouched over Parker's body. She shivered in anticipation and let her mind go blank. She didn't want any expectations for what was about to happen.

Alec's mouth came down, lips just barely grazing her skin. Eliot's fingers laced in hers and he squeezed her hand back when hers tightened. Alec's tongue darted out and ran over one of her nipples and she twisted under him, laughing.

"Ticklish?" he asked, grinning evilly.

"No," she lied.

"Right here is worse," Eliot said, brushing her hair off her face and pressing his lips right under her ear. She pulled away from him, from the overwhelming tickle of his lips and breath right there, but Alec had her pretty effectively trapped.

"Mean," she groaned.

"Not really," Alec said. She should have known something was up with how conversational and casual he sounded, but Eliot was lapping at her earlobe and she was distracted so much that when Alec slid two fingers into her pussy, she let out a shocked gasp and her whole body came up off the bed. She collided with Alec, who was still propped up on his knees and one elbow above her.

"Oh god," she said. "Oh god, oh god."

Eliot laughed quietly, a perfectly sexy sound so close to her ear. "Good?" he asked.

She couldn't answer. Alec had started moving his fingers, slow and steady and oh god, she was going to have a very serious talk to him about how this was basically torture. She thought briefly about later, and about Alec on his knees with his hands pressed to the wall and Eliot fucking into him from behind and how she was going to get down on the bed in front of him and suck him off so slowly that Eliot would finish three times before he had come once, and she felt a little better.

"It looks good," Eliot said. His voice had taken on a lower tone, as if that was even possible. She shuddered against Alec whenever Eliot spoke.

"It feels good," Alec said, laughing when Parker moaned her agreement. "Come here, let me show you."

When Eliot slid two fingers inside her along Alec's fingers, she squirmed. It was a lot to take when they had barely given her time to warm up, but he pressed a hard kiss to her knee and looked up at her with his concerned eyes and she nodded, yes, they could continue.

They took it slow, and Parker adjusted, and it was fucking incredible having them both of them in her at once. She knew there was more, so much more, that they could do with both of them in her at once and to be honest, four fingers was more than enough right now. They're get to the rest of it and it would be sexy and magical and there would be so many limbs, but that was the future.

Right now it was them and they were together and she was coming on their hands and mumbling their names and life was pretty fucking perfect.

\--

Parker had predicted the future with disturbing accuracy. She really shouldn't have told Nate mid-flight, because when he started shouting, everyone on the plane knew exactly what was going on. The pilot probably heard too, all the way up in the cockpit, and so she blamed Nate for all the turbulence from Seoul to London.

Alec did a good job of keeping Eliot in his seat and not punching Nate in the throat while he got it out of his system, so that was a very good thing that Parker was grateful for.

"What is his fucking problem, anyways?" Eliot asked Parker while he broke all Alec's cigarettes into pieces into a plastic bag. Alec had made the mistake of leaving his coat in his seat when he got up to pee and Eliot was taking full advantage.

"He worries about me. He's still not convinced you're not here to get me hooked on drugs. Kidding!" she added quickly when she saw the thunder on his face. "Relax, he's fine. He just likes to shout when he's stressed."

"Which is always," Eliot said darkly.

Parker shrugged. "Welcome to the family?"

\--

As fast as the first part of the tour had gone, the last part was so much faster. Everything was passing in a blur of happy and loud and her warm boys.

"Three whole days off?" Parker said, her eyes wide and shocked. She bounced once or twice on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, experimenting. It had to be a nice bed if Nate was expecting them use it for the next three days.

Nate sighed. "If you ever bothered to read to files I give you, you would know this. We only have eight more shows, but we have time for a little break. Think of it like a mini vacation, because once the tour is done, we're doing two straight months of press work for the new album."

"A vacation!" Parker sang out, leaping up from the bed, across Alec's lap and throwing her arms around Nate. "You're perfect, I love you."

"I love you too," he said wearily. "And I don't care what you three are getting up to, but under no circumstances are you to ditch Quinn again. He is your shadow, you got that?"

"We apologized for that," Alec said, but Nate waved him off.

"Quinn goes everywhere with you, understand?"

Parker nodded.

"I don't like Quinn," Eliot said once Nate had left them in the room.

Quinn, standing less than three feet away, nodded. "Yeah. I get that a lot."

"Okay," Parker said, throwing herself down on the carpet at the end of the bed and flipping open her trunk. She dug through for the sunglasses she wanted to wear. "Vacation time. What do you guys want to do first?"

Eliot sighed. "Get drunk and punch a moose? I don't know, it's Canada. What the hell are we supposed to do?" He pulled back the curtain and glared out across the Toronto skyline in the sunny afternoon.

"They apparently have a pretty cool science place around here somewhere. You guys want to learn some science?" Alec said. He was thumbing through some pamphlets he'd picked up somewhere. He made it sound casual, but Parker glanced up and saw him reading the pamphlet in his hand with avid interest.

She didn't want to disappoint her geek, but that seemed like way too stuffy for the amount of energy she had at the moment. Parker picked the orange sunglasses with the blue rhinestones that clashed pretty ridiculously with her brown hair. "Let's just go for a walk. Take in the sights, that kind of thing."

"The Canadian sights," Eliot grumbled, but he followed everyone else out of the room when they left so he wasn't that mad. "I'm going to kick a beaver if we see one," he warned them.

After a few minutes, Eliot was over the fact that it was Canada. He was even over the fact that Quinn was trailing two feet behind them the whole time. It was nice to just be out in the open air together, he said.

"Canada does have some nice air," Eliot admitted.

Parker agreed and they walked for a while until they'd gotten completely turned around and had to ask a man at a sausage cart for directions back to the hotel. He was very polite.

"How Canadian," Eliot said, pretty amazed.

"Yeah, you didn't have to threaten one of his homeland's precious native animals, either," Alec said with a smirk. "A day of diplomacy all around."

The majority of her adoring fans hadn't seen Parker's new hair yet, so they got through the crowds pretty easy. Plus, she could duck behind Alec if she thought people were looking at her for a little too long.

Then Alec saw something in a shop window he thought was funny and turned to Eliot. "El, I think... Where's Eliot?"

There was a small scale panic then, both because he might be scared and lost and alone, and because he might be wrecking the city, but he showed up breathless a few minutes later.

"Got you something," he said, grinning crookedly at Parker.

"Is it a dead beaver head? I don't want that."

He snorted and pressed the little bag into her hand.

"You don't have to buy me presents to get me to love you, Eliot," she teased as she opened it.

It didn't look very fancy, probably he found in some tourist store that sold trinkets, but it was still pretty. A silver ring, with a little red heart laid over a darker read maple leaf. It fit her finger and when she held up her hand and wiggled her fingers, Eliot smiled and kissed her.

She tried to thank him, but her brain was shouting 'ring, ring, it's a ring, you know what that means! Panic!'. She didn't panic though. There was something distinctly non-panicsome about Eliot giving her a ring.

"It's really nice," Alec said.

"Here, before you get huffy." Eliot said, handing Alec a different bag. "Got you a matching one."

Alec looked away from them as he took it out of the bag and tried it on. "Thanks," he said, his voice going quiet for a second before he kissed Eliot, then Parker. She beamed at him, still fairly lost for words. But he was smiling and Eliot was smiling and showing them _his_ ring, just the same as theirs, already on the chain around his neck.

Things slowed down for a minute and Parker just watched them talking animatedly about whatever they were talking about. It didn't matter, so long as they were both there. She sighed the happiest sigh she could have ever imagined for this weird, perfect fortune she had fallen into.

Eliot laughed at something and threw an arm around Alec shoulders. Then tugged Parker in on the other side of him and they started walking again, hand in hand in hand.


End file.
